Guy smiled, his eyes lingering on me with a certain intensity. I liked the way he towered over me, like that he could defeat any predator. ‘Sorry, I’m being remiss,’ he said. ‘I’m leaving a damsel in desperate need of another drink.’

The irony. I froze a second, knowing this was a doorway. Knowing that, when Amber’s gentle insistence had oiled the lock, my sobs had come from somewhere deep inside. Her face flickered in my mind’s eye, the reams of testimonials – lives saved and transformed – spooling through my already champagne-fuddled mind.

I chose the other path.

‘You’re a crushing disappointment,’ I said, handing Guy my flute, letting my gaze linger on him this time.

‘Let’s remedy that, sharpish,’ he said, pushing his way through the crowd in search of help.

My heart lurched as he walked away. It felt cataclysmic, like he’d abandoned me in a sea of hostile bodies. It was extraordinary how quickly I’d start to think a man was my saviour. It was such a grim, inevitable reflex.

‘Rachel!’

Her voice was like nails down a blackboard. I’d recognize it blindfolded. I spun around.

‘Hi, Esther,’ I said, monotone. She was wearing a white shift dress, the bare pink flesh of her arms covered in goosebumps. Her wide, nervy smile was painted pink, and a smudge of the lipstick decorated her slightly goofy front teeth. They’d made her look even younger than she was when she lived with us – and she was young then. I could remember her seventeenth birthday, the cake Mum bought, the handmade card from Sophie with the dried flowers painstakingly stuck down. And the flowers – the huge mixed, colourful bunch that Dad brought home ‘from all of us’. I felt my body contract, my champagne glass slick in my clammy hand. Esther dived forward suddenly, planting a sticky kiss on my cheek.

‘How are you, darling?’ Her eyes flicked almost imperceptibly to my glass. Or maybe she wanted it to be noticeable. My mind went into overdrive – I hadn’t seen her for years. How could she know my family thought I had a problem? Why exactly was she here, back in the heart of our fractured world?

‘Really well,’ I said airily. ‘I’ve just heard I’m going to get a big promotion at work. And it’s such an honour to be Nancy’s godmother.’ I hardened my expression. ‘Mum and Dad are so happy to have their first granddaughter.’

Mum was standing near the bar, elegant as ever in her claret wrap dress. Had she seen us marooned here together? She certainly wasn’t looking in our direction now.

‘I know! Little Nancy. So adorable.’ That goofy grin again, never quite reaching her clear blue eyes. ‘Such an honour to be invited today.’