‘Secondly, that you being born was the most fantastic thing that ever happened to me. It might sound weird, but you’re the love of my life – not in a creepy way. But I never felt, like, sibling rivalry, or that you’d taken anything away from me. You were just this gift I’d been given. When you used to sing to yourself in the mornings, or, there was this time when you’d want to sleep with an apple, instead of a teddy. It had to be red.’ She looked so confused, so emotional – I squeezed the goose-bumped skin on her bare arms and hurried on. ‘What I’m trying to say is, there are a million tiny details that make up you, that I will always remember until the day I die. Every single one is precious to me.’

‘Rachel, you’re precious to me! That’s why it’s been so awful having to shut you out like you’re some kind of frigging devil…’

‘But I understand why you had to,’ I said, heartfelt. ‘I put you through so much, and I’m truly sorry. This is the last thing I need to tell you, and I’m sorry that it’s tonight, on your hen night. If I wasn’t leaving, I wouldn’t do it, but you have to know.’

‘What?’ she said, voice rising.

The cold and the intensity were sobering her up: I felt a flash of regret that I had to do this, tonight of all nights.

‘Sophie, I found out for absolute definite that Dad and Esther had an affair. Mum did know it was true, but then she found out that Esther was pregnant, and she needed to keep her under our roof to make sure she had an abortion.’

I could see the battle raging in Sophie’s eyes. She wanted to dismiss me, but she knew me so well. Something in the calm authority I was projecting, which was costing me so much to maintain, was working on her now.

‘Rachel, don’t – how can you know that?’

Was I really going to risk this?

‘I heard it directly. From her.’ Lies come in many different hues. The half lies, grey ones like this one was, are almost the most betraying. I had heard it from ‘her’, just not the ‘her’ she thought.

Sophie had turned pale by now, a red-tipped hand clamped over her mouth as if she was stopping herself from retching. ‘Oh, Jesus. Are you sure? Are you really sure it’s true?’

I nodded, hugged her properly.

‘Dad doesn’t know, so Esther’s been able to walk in and out, knowing that she can tap Mum up for money. That’s why she’s been working for him the past few months.’

‘How could they – how could they do that?’ she wailed.