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Chapters (63)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. LILY
  5. ONE YEAR EARLIER
  6. RACHEL
  7. LILY
  8. RACHEL
  9. LILY
  10. RACHEL
  11. LILY
  12. RACHEL
  13. LILY
  14. RACHEL
  15. LILY
  16. RACHEL
  17. LILY
  18. RACHEL
  19. LILY
  20. RACHEL
  21. LILY
  22. RACHEL
  23. LILY
  24. RACHEL
  25. LILY
  26. RACHEL
  27. LILY
  28. RACHEL
  29. LILY
  30. RACHEL
  31. LILY
  32. RACHEL
  33. LILY
  34. RACHEL
  35. LILY
  36. RACHEL
  37. LILY
  38. RACHEL
  39. LILY
  40. RACHEL
  41. LILY
  42. RACHEL
  43. LILY
  44. RACHEL
  45. LILY
  46. RACHEL
  47. LILY
  48. RACHEL
  49. LILY
  50. RACHEL
  51. LILY
  52. RACHEL
  53. LILY
  54. RACHEL
  55. LILY
  56. RACHEL
  57. LILY
  58. RACHEL
  59. LILY
  60. EIGHT MONTHS LATER
  61. AMBER
  62. Acknowledgements
  63. About the Author

I was optimistic; Nick less so. The letter arrived in a crisp, official envelope: could we come and give an interview connected to an ongoing investigation?

‘It’s a different police station,’ said Nick, jabbing at the paper with his finger. We were both starting late that day, and we had newspapers splayed out across the kitchen table, a cafetière of coffee sitting between us. It was like a still life of contented middle-aged coupledom.

‘Yes, silly, it’s Rachel’s local police station,’ I said. ‘They must have spread the web, expanded the investigation. She’s a different council from us, so if they want to involve mental health services…’

‘Lest we forget how good my wife is at telling a story,’ said Nick, with a mirthless laugh, which succeeded in making his remark sound like the exact opposite of a compliment. ‘Mark my words, we need to be prepped for this one.’

I hate Kilburn: I’d begged Rachel not to move there when she’d first rented that nasty flat. It borders the leafy environs of Queens Park, an area I’m happy to cover, but even a couple of streets across takes you into a subterranean hinterland. The police station was no exception, the pavement outside littered with takeaway cartons and dog mess. We picked our way through the debris to the door and asked the clerk on the desk for the Detective Williams who’d written the letter.

We waited at least ten minutes before a dishevelled woman shoved her way through the crowded waiting area towards us.

‘Mr and Mrs Appleby?’ she said.

I sprung to my feet, stuck out a hand.

‘Yes!’ I said. ‘Detective Williams? It’s a pleasure to meet you.’

She took a beat before she responded, eyes subtly flicking up and down. I’d come from a viewing and was wearing a new pair of black wedge heels with a fitted aubergine dress that skimmed my Pilates-toned body before falling to the knee. I knew in an instant – particularly looking at the way she was futilely pretending that her bobbly black jacket matched her shapeless trousers – that I should have made myself less threatening.

‘Do follow me through,’ she said with a smile that failed to reach her eyes.

My skin began to prickle. I’d been anticipating sympathy and vindication, but perhaps Nick was right to be on high alert. I comforted myself: in a way, it confirmed that we were a good team, filling in the gaps for one another.

She led us to a windowless interview room, a white Formica table like a butcher’s slab dominating the space. We sat down opposite her, but she didn’t utter a word for a few seconds. Ordinarily I’d have grabbed the bull by the horns, but I knew enough from my lawyer husband to know that we shouldn’t speak first. It was more than that, though – she was somehow owning our collective silence.