‘Okay,’ said Williams, looking at the clock and giving another warm smile. ‘We need to get you to work. If you want to fix your face, there’s a bathroom through there. I’ve got enough here that I think I can go for a Section Five.’ She looked at my baffled, streaky face. ‘Sorry, too much jargon. It’s a harassment order. Means your parents can’t come within 250 yards of you – so no more unwanted keys turning in the lock, and she certainly can’t send any more of these frankly nasty emails…’

I took a gulp of air. This was all feeling very real – almost too real. Amber had been so confident, but I realized now that on some level I hadn’t believed the authorities would take me seriously. Would take us seriously.

‘Thank you,’ I said, the tears returning as I thought of Sophie. Would this force her to believe me – to turn up on my doorstep full of love and apologies – or do the absolute opposite? I couldn’t kid myself it would be the result I wanted and now it was too late to turn back.

‘Don’t cry, Rachel,’ said Williams, handing over a fistful of tissues. ‘You were incredibly brave to come in and do this.’

‘I don’t feel brave,’ I said through my tears. ‘I feel like a bitch.’

She watched me kindly.

‘They’re your mum and dad. I’m sure you love them, too.’

Now I was sobbing, any vestige of calm having well and truly left the building. Of course I loved them: it wasn’t something you could simply carve out of yourself like a tumour caught early. But I hated them, too, and, unfair as it was, it was her that I reserved the blackest feelings for. How was it possible to feel both emotions so intensely and not crack in two?

Williams reached over and handed me another handful of Kleenex. ‘It might not feel like it right now, but the worst is over.’

As if.

The pub was in Kennington, books and pictures lining the walls, a blackboard listing chi chi comfort food hung next to the bar. I looked around the room, finding Hannah and Marco huddled in a corner, fingers entwined on a table that was illuminated by a dripping candle. I didn’t have time to start feeling like a gooseberry before Hannah’s arms were wrapped around my body, her wet mouth on my neck.

‘Rachel! Darling Rachel! We’re so happy you’re here!’

The royal we, less than a fortnight in. I wasn’t the only one who was hopeless at playing hard to get. I was happy to see her, though, hugging her back with fierce need.