‘No Arthur today, I’m afraid,’ Amber announced to the breakfast table. ‘He’s got a family emergency.’ Was it my imagination, or was she watching for my reaction? I kept my face deliberately neutral. Surely skiing wasn’t an emergency? Perhaps he’d lied to her. ‘This last day should be all about relaxing,’ she continued. ‘Our very own family Christmas! Board games. Country walks. Let’s give all your hard work a chance to process and embed.’

I joined in the cheers and thanks that greeted anything Amber said or did and tried to give myself over to the day. At least now I wasn’t constantly monitoring the state of play between me and Arthur. Of course I would have liked a ‘morning after’ text from him, but even if he had sent one, the terrible signal would probably have stopped it arriving. It was a useful excuse to give myself; he’d made it quite clear he wouldn’t be bothering to get in touch till after his trip. It should have told me everything – it probably did – but there was only so much truth I could handle.

The day slipped by easily enough. A late breakfast morphed into lunch, and a game of Monopoly stretched into the afternoon. Around three we went for a long walk in the nearby woods, my trainers quickly turning out to be more suited to the London streets than a rural mud bath. As I scraped them against a tree, Tim caught up to me. I’d been semi avoiding him, still embarrassed about how out of control I must have been for him to react the way he did, but now he was apologetic.

‘I’m sorry, Rachel,’ he said, winter sun illuminating the bald dome of his intelligent face. ‘I was overthinking it.’

‘Don’t apologize,’ I said. ‘I appreciate you caring.’

‘No, no,’ he said, frustrated. With me? With him? ‘It sounds stupid, but I’m so used to being treated like this wise guru at work. I need to learn to let go. Give myself over to spirit.’

That phrase really didn’t sound like the Tim I’d got to know these past few days. I chided myself – that was the point. He was allowing himself to be transformed.

‘Yeah, me too,’ I agreed. ‘I really need to get better at surrendering.’

‘I don’t know about that,’ he said, ‘you did pretty well yesterday’, setting off a new wave of paranoia about what I’d been reduced to. I pushed it away, linking my arm through his.

‘So did you,’ I said, giving my muddy trainers a scrape through the thick carpet of leaves that we were standing on. The sun was getting lower, the day closing in around us like a dark cloak. I shivered. ‘Let’s keep moving. I’m freezing.’

‘Come with. Please come with!’