“Sometimes you try everything you can, Niru, and things still don’t work out in the end.” Kavita sees Sunil smiling softly to himself with the appointment cards in hand. Then staring darkly at the doctor’s note. Then fixing his resolute gaze on the river and its current. She sees his eyes and the multitude of states between hope and dread they were conveying. She understands now what she didn’t at the time, and it makes her wish she could gouge out her memory to stop hindsight’s haunting. “It might have been like that for your grandmother. In any case, I think she deserves our compassion. Lung cancer, even self-inflicted, is an awful way die.”

“If she’d taken better care of herself, she would still be here. The only people I feel sorry for are my mum and her brothers. All Nani’s left them is a mess to clean up. Apparently, her will wasn’t even in order, and she knew she was poorly. How selfish is that?” Nirav pours himself a glass of water and takes a gulp. “Last-minute tickets are going to cost a bloody fortune,” he blurts before marching into the office.

Kavita follows a few steps behind him and leans against the doorjamb with her arms crossed, watching as he searches for flights.

“Don’t worry about the money,” she tells him, encouragingly. “This is the reason we save in the first place, right?”

He flashes her a black look.

She curls her chilled toes. “All I mean is you don’t need to think about money right now. Just focus on your family. That’s all that matters.”

For a while, the only sound in the room is the clack of the keyboard. “You know,” he says, eventually. “You don’t have to come with me.”

“What?”

He stops typing. “If you aren’t ready to face my family, yet.”

“What do you mean?”

He casts a side-eye. “If you’re still embarrassed.”

“About what?”

“…Your brother.”

“Sunil?” she says, puzzled. “Why would I be embarrassed about him?” Kavita regards her husband’s stony expression. “Unless you think I have something to be embarrassed about?”

The clack of the keyboard resumes with overcompensating fervour. “Forget I mentioned it,” he tells her.

“How can I forget it?”

“Kavita, honestly, I don’t have the energy for a row.”

“Neither do I.”

“Then can we just leave it, all right?” he snaps, raising his voice.

She stares at him, wide-eyed.

He collects himself with a sigh. “I think I just need some time on my own.”

“Are you sure?” she asks. “I hate to leave you alone at a time like this.”

“I’m sure.”

As she considers him with a measuring stare, still confused about the direction their conversation has taken, doubt begins to burrow into her mind like a grub eating into the tender cork of a tree. Why wouldn’t he look at her?