BooksBarbecue
Back Side by Side
Chapters (50)
  1. Cover Page
  2. Half Title Page
  3. SIDE by SIDE
  4. Dedication Page
  5. Epigraph
  6. Part I: Fall
  7. 1.
  8. 2.
  9. 3.
  10. 4.
  11. 5.
  12. Part II: Crawl
  13. 6.
  14. 7.
  15. 8.
  16. 9.
  17. 10.
  18. 11.
  19. 12.
  20. 13.
  21. 14.
  22. 15.
  23. 16.
  24. 17.
  25. 18.
  26. 19.
  27. 20.
  28. 21.
  29. 22.
  30. 23.
  31. 24.
  32. 25.
  33. 26.
  34. 27.
  35. 28.
  36. 29.
  37. 30.
  38. 31.
  39. Part III: Rise
  40. 32.
  41. 33.
  42. 34.
  43. 35.
  44. 36.
  45. 37.
  46. 38.
  47. 39.
  48. 40.
  49. Acknowledgements
  50. About the Author

“Well, I’m sorry to tell you, miss, but I won that trip last time. Any chance for Cuba?”

“Nirav, please stop.”

“Sorry love,” he said, apologetic. “I was just having a laugh. Is something wrong?”

“It’s Sunil.” Something about hearing her husband’s voice weakened her. Kavita felt her belly fill with tears. But now wasn’t the time to fall apart. Sunil needed her to be strong. She willed the tears into a block of ice, and told Nirav the details of Sunil’s plan, mechanically, realizing there was no other way to deliver such news.

“He can’t be serious?”

“He handed me a bag of pills a minute ago. I flushed them.”

“I don’t know what to say, darling. But really, I’m sure he doesn’t mean it.”

“Can you bring over a bag of my things?”

“I’ll come right after work.”

“Will you stay over too?”

Now, as Kavita rubs heat into her arms, she feels her belated anger rise, degree by degree. Would an extra pair of eyes have made a difference the next day? Eyes that could have helped her keep watch over Sunil. Eyes that still remain offensively dry.

“Why didn’t you spend the night when I asked you to?”

“I told you, I had a meeting early the next morning.”

“You didn’t believe him.”

“No, I did.”

“If you had believed him, you wouldn’t have been able to stay away, meeting or no meeting.”

“I—”

“Why haven’t you cried?”

“I don’t know,” Nirav shrugs. “Maybe it’s shock.”

Kavita shakes her head. Where was her husband’s sympathy for her brother? Why wasn’t he slowly crumbling like she was?

“If I do feel anything right now, it’s awful, for you and your parents. That you have to go through any of this at all.”

You, Kavita notes. Not us. Not we. Married only a year, and already, there they were, facing a crisis that would have strained even the longest and strongest of marriages.

“Because of Sunil? Is that what you mean? Are you trying to blame him?”

Nirav averts his eyes. “It might seem foolish now,” he offers, after a brief silence. “But honestly, I didn’t think he meant to go through with it. I believed he was in distress, but since he came to you, I thought that meant he didn’t really want to hurt himself in the end. I thought he was reaching out.”