“Hey!” Chi swoops in for an awkward hug, patting Kavita on the shoulder a couple of times, the way one might hug a sick, distant relative, as if reluctant to touch her, as if her grief might be contagious. Chi has changed her hair, cropped it into a blunt bob, tinted plum. As she pulls off her grey woollen coat and black leather gloves, tossing them onto the loveseat across from Kavita, she apologizes for being late. “I came as soon as I could. Emerg is an absolute zoo. People are animals. Sick and injured people, especially.”

“That’s okay,” Kavita grins. “I haven’t been here long.” Her hands dart involuntarily to the collar of her sweatshirt, then brush dust off her lap that isn’t there, self-conscious and sloppy in her hoodie, jeans, and ratty braid.

“So, long time no see, hey?” Chi says, still standing. “You look great.”

“I do?”

“Absolutely,” Chi nods, unconvincing in her overenthusiasm. “Wait, have you lost weight? Oh my God, you’re so skinny!”

Kavita looks down at herself. “Not on purpose.”

“I wish I could lose a few pounds without even trying. Oh, and I love that you’re growing out your hair. Look how long your braid is!”

Kavita pulls her braid over her shoulder and plays with the elastic. “Thanks.” The truth is she feels too awkward to make an appointment at the salon, weary of the inevitable chitchat. How’s life? How’s work? Questions that have no easy answers now. But it goes deeper than that. She feels too guilty to actually cut her hair, which she sees as a sign of moving on, accepting the passage of time. Growing her hair is simply a consequence of her resistance, the way her thinness is merely a consequence of her resistance to the life-giving sustenance of food. “I’m just going to grab a cappuccino. You want anything?”

“No thanks, I’m good”

“Back in two secs!”

Kavita watches her friend take her place in the short line. Meanwhile, she breathes, slow and full, to hush the busy chatter of her nerves. She craves a cigarette but doubts she will have time before Chi returns. Smoking in a rush only results in heightened edginess.

The St. John’s Wort and valerian root she has been taking for the past week haven’t offered any notable relief yet. The labels claimed the herbals were traditionally used to treat nervousness and insomnia. She imagines those conditions have mutated somewhat in modern times. So far, she hasn’t even enjoyed the happy ignorance of a placebo effect.