I wait. And fucking wait. While she has a moral dilemma, I listen to ‘Lewis’ forcing the panel back on and then going into my bedroom. The room where you fucked Alicia Turnbull. He’s pulling out the divan drawers, looking for something that he doesn’t even have a picture of. I hear him push up the loft door and the ladders come down. DS Percy – I prefer to keep it formal – decides to spill the beans.

‘This thing is. Well, you’ve had some letters from social services asking you to contact them.’

I look at the pile of letters. I should have opened them. I should have.

‘You see,’ she moves closer still and I can feel her breath on my face, ‘I wanted to understand what had gone on here. To see if there was more to this. So I requested your file. Your daughter has told her teacher that she wants to see you. Make contact.’

Of all the things it could have been, I didn’t expect this. I’d convinced myself that my children completely hate me and have been fully influenced by your bitch mother and their lying bastard father. That they’d never, ever want anything to do with me.

But Laura does. She wants to see me and she’s told someone that isn’t your mother or you. It lights a flame inside me and this is what I’ve been waiting for. I dive for the unopened letters, rifle through them frantically. Most of it is, as I suspected, junk mail, but she’s right, there are nine or ten from social services. I rip them open and scan the letters.

It’s true. They want to see me ‘about a family matter’. They want me to make an appointment. I have a rush of despair – is it too late? But it isn’t. This seems to have happened recently, the last letter is dated only a couple of weeks ago. DS Percy is enjoying the high, pushing the junk mail into a bin bag and putting the letters in date order.

Lewis appears, along with his colleague Sam.

‘Nothing. We’ve had a good look round. In the loft and everywhere.’ He looks through the kitchen window. ‘No shed?’

I shake my head.

‘Just a lock-up cupboard outside. Where I keep the lawn mower and that.’

I pass him the key and they go outside. DS Percy looks at me.

‘So all’s not lost. Follow it up. And get this lot sorted out. You’ll have the kids here before long.’

Her hand is on my arm again and she’s all touchy-feely with me. I put my hand over hers.