She leaned slightly forward, chin out, and set her mouth into a thin smile. To anyone else it would look for all the world like she was some kind of saint, taking on the burdens of the world with good humour. But I know her. She coughed to get attention, then began the onslaught.

‘Well, I was just thinking, if it would help, I could supervise Caroline and the children. I mean, I don’t want to interfere but it does seem practical as they will be staying with me for the time being ...’

I saw you brighten. You knew then that I would never see Charlie and Laura again. You knew that your mother would control the situation with a rod of steel. You’d be able to see them whenever you deemed it necessary to pop home from your round-the-world jolly, but I wouldn’t be allowed. It wasn’t legal custody, but you’d found a way to keep me out of your life completely. She would make every excuse possible to avoid me seeing them. It would all seem like she was very busy and it was a terrible coincidence that the only time she was free was when I was working. It would save you the job of having to look after them and of keeping them away from me. A double whammy.

Everyone was nodding their approval and suddenly chairs began to scrape and everyone left. Except me. I sat there in stunned silence. No doubt to the rest of the world it looked like the perfect arrangement – and one that would work in everyone’s favour. But they didn’t know these people. Not really. They hadn’t lived my life and got to know the egos and the motivations.

Not that it mattered now. What mattered was that my children had been taken away from me and that I had to somehow find a way to get them back. Or carry on with my life without them. Or not. I admit that for a brief moment I considered ending it all, but then they would hurt more and it would prove that Daddy and Grandma were right and Mummy was very, very ill and dangerous.

It’s hard to explain now, but sitting there in that room, completely alone in the world, missing my children and wanting to die, I somehow still had a spark in me. It was there, deep down, a knowledge that one day this would all come right. Even if it was when Charlie and Laura were adults and could decide for themselves. I had to be there. I had to survive. For them. I had to find a way to put this right. I had to fight for them. I had to.

Chapter Nine