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Chapters (45)
  1. Chapter One
  2. Chapter Two
  3. Chapter Three
  4. Chapter Four
  5. Chapter Five
  6. Chapter Six
  7. Chapter Seven
  8. Chapter Eight
  9. Chapter Nine
  10. Chapter Ten
  11. Chapter Eleven
  12. Chapter Twelve
  13. Chapter Thirteen
  14. Chapter Fourteen
  15. Chapter Fifteen
  16. Chapter Sixteen
  17. Chapter Seventeen
  18. Chapter Eighteen
  19. Chapter Nineteen
  20. Chapter Twenty
  21. Chapter Twenty-one
  22. Chapter Twenty-two
  23. Chapter Twenty-three
  24. Chapter Twenty-four
  25. Chapter Twenty-five
  26. Chapter Twenty-six
  27. Chapter Twenty-seven
  28. Chapter Twenty-eight
  29. Chapter Twenty-nine
  30. Chapter Thirty
  31. Chapter Thirty-one
  32. Chapter Thirty-two
  33. Chapter Thirty-three
  34. Chapter Thirty-four
  35. Chapter Thirty-five
  36. Chapter Thirty-six
  37. Chapter Thirty-seven
  38. Chapter Thirty-eight
  39. Chapter Thirty-nine
  40. Chapter Forty
  41. Chapter Forty-one
  42. Chapter Forty-two
  43. Chapter Forty-three
  44. Chapter Forty-four
  45. Acknowledgements

‘I’m your sister. Family.’ She does a Marlon Brando impression and we both laugh. ‘It’s the least I can do after my appalling behaviour as a teenager.’

She pulls a Paula Pussycat face, which looks silly now she’s a grown-up. I think about what has happened. What I feel bad about. And how that makes me not a psychopath.

‘There is one thing you can do. You could go up to The Tea Cosy and see how Frances is doing. I wanted to close her down but that was fucking horrible of me.’

She nods.

‘I will. And I’ll phone you. Just leave the pictures for now. Not much you can do about that anyway, but if you’re going to get your kids back none of this can be linked to you. Just don’t lose the fucking plot.’

She hugs me and I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t posted that photo of her on Facebook. Would she still be here? Will she really back me up? We’ll see, won’t we? No time for that now, I need to leave.

She promises to call me later and hurries to her car. My phone makes a beep, signalling more activity on social networking and I have a sinking feeling in my stomach. Paula was right. I can’t believe I’m thinking it, but Paula was right. I blamed anyone except Jack. It had to be someone else’s fault. Despite my psychological training, I became so conditioned that I couldn’t possibly have blamed Mr Perfect. Coupled with my insatiable drive to fix everything, to make it all right, I lost sight of what was real and what wasn’t.

Those poor women. I’m their worst nightmare. The ex coming back to haunt them via his estranged wife. It could happen to me. Any of those men from the Premier Inn – to their wives I am the other woman. What have I done?

My psychological training kicks in now and I focus on the conditioning. Unfuck myself. Like Pam said. Extinction of learned behaviour. The revenge I felt towards Jack’s women was provoked by his perceived presence in my life. Now he’s fading and so is my hate, replaced with an equal measure of determination. I need to keep away from him. If I have any chance of unfucking myself I need to stay away from him – even thinking about him. It’s going to be difficult, and, as with any conditioned response, it may be reinforced temporarily, but I will do this. I will.

For now, though, all I can do is lie low and hope that Paula’s damage limitation will work.

Chapter Thirty-five