I’ve heard it all before. They always want you to do what their wives won’t do any more. It’s the thrill of the chase, not that I’ve been running very fast at all. I suddenly feel sad as I remember my previous encounters at the Premier Inn. They all love to play out whatever they’ve been wanking to on the internet. I’ve been a school teacher, the girl out of Fifty fucking Shades. I’ve been a nurse and a prostitute. I’ve had them take me outside and fuck me in public and behind bus shelters, ‘like they did when they were young’.

Inevitably, they describe in detail what their wives are like. Usually it’s the old ‘my wife doesn’t understand me’ or ‘she’s too tired for sex’. ‘She won’t give me a blowjob’ is popular too. Thankfully, I was mostly half pissed before they got a chance to launch into their sorry tales about why they are being unfaithful. That’s the thing. They all believe that they are justified.

I’m wondering what Jack said. Did he tell them that I was tired? Did he mention the late nights and early mornings looking after his children? Caroline doesn’t like that sort of thing. I picture Julie Carson in my mind’s eye, giving him oral sex outside. Caroline would never do that. I can almost hear him saying it to them. He never gave me a chance. He never gave us a chance to develop a loving intimacy. To have fun. I was just quick, dutiful sex between business trips or, as I now realise, mistresses. But this is progress. I can see him from a distance. A stranger.

Lee tells me that he works for a charity. He’s here on a works do blah blah blah … I’m still thinking about Jack. Him and my slut sister. My anger is getting the better of me and I’m suddenly laughing too loud at something Lee said.

He’s holding my hand and pulling me off my bar stool. I’m suddenly laughing with him as he chats about some guy in the other room doing an Elvis impersonation and he laughs too and pulls me towards the dining room. The elderly couple are tutting and getting their things together. The woman looks at me like I’m a cheap tart and I feel like slipping into the in-between, where I can finally get some peace. Some time away from it all. Instead, Lee passes me a menu.

‘Bar food.’ He looks delighted. Maybe this is just a weird way of getting me into bed. ‘Live on my own, you see. Lucky if I can be bothered to make chips and beans. Or a pot noodle.’ He looks away from the menu and right into my eyes. I feel something I have never felt before. ‘What are you having?’

Chapter Twenty-nine