It has to come out sometime and while she’s asking me about this she’s not asking about Jack’s exes and what I’ve done to them.

‘Some guy who’s been following me.’

I don’t add that I think Jack sent him. I’m saving that one. She whistles low.

‘Bloody hell. What are the odds?’

I consider her throw-away comment. Quite high, actually. At the high, or low, point of my out-of-control drinking I slept with quite a few men. That could be ten men. Then there were the majority I didn’t sleep with but just used to validate myself. I suddenly feel very sad. What happened to the Caroline who respected herself? Who would avoid flirting like the plague? But out of those men, the chances of meeting someone who had, say, borderline personality disorder, is pretty high.

‘Yeah, I suppose. But I was out of control. That’s not the real me.’

She nods and sips her coffee.

‘I know. Jack talked a lot about you.’

‘Did he? How strange.’

‘Yeah. He talked about all his exes. He was quite cruel, really.’ She’s wringing her chapped hands now and staring at them. I see a tear fall. ‘He marked them all out of ten. You were a ten. There was only one other ten. I was an eight. It really upset me.’

I hold in my temper. It’s difficult but I need to keep calm. Something inside me ignites.

‘So what else did he say about me?’

‘Just that you and he were over and that you’d told him that you wouldn’t sleep with him any more.’ She hesitates and I can see she’s suffering. Then she lets me into the real state of her psyche. ‘So … were you still sleeping with him? I mean, were you still together?’

I want to shake her and I want to hug her at the same time. She still hasn’t realised fully what’s going on. Instead, I answer her gently.

‘Yes, we were still together. We were still sleeping together. He was still living with me.’

‘But …’

‘I know. He was living here. He was telling us both that he was on business trips. And after he left me, he was telling that to Louise Shaw.’

She’s staring at me incredulously.

‘The whole time?’

Her bottom lip is shaking and I want to lean over and hug her, but I remember that she knew all about me. That’s she’s been in my house. Fed my children. I push my own conflicting feelings away and I do it anyway. I’ve been warming to her and Jamie. He’s a little love and, although I’ve resisted it, I have to admit he’s so much like Charlie and Laura. I finally acknowledge that Katy and Jamie are in my future, a permanent fixture.