So, I brought you shopping. I wanted to see if it was my imagination or if you really were perpetually distracted. I brought you to the Costa Coffee where I’d been people watching for months. Ever the scientist, I repeated the experiment in situ. A controlled environment where everything that the other couples had was in place.

Social situation. Coffee. Piped music. Cake. Just two people on a shopping trip, treating themselves to some of life’s luxuries. You looked bemused right from the start, because I never made demands on your time. You agreed to come with me for the children’s Christmas presents. The journey there was conducted in the strained silence that always pervaded when you needed to be somewhere else. It was as if you were under extreme duress.

Once there, I laughed and made light conversation. Some would say I flirted, but how can you flirt with your husband of many years? You stared at me for a long time, until I ran out of amusing stories. You drained your cup and, as I placed my hand over yours, you drew it away.

‘Are you feeling unwell, Caroline?’

I laughed again and your expression barely changed. We did the shopping and went home. I suggested that we store the toys and clothes in the top of the concealed wardrobes. You’re taller than me and I had to ask you to reach up. As you did, I put my arms around you and drew you to me. I raised my face up to kiss you, but you pushed me away. In that split second I saw your face in the dressing-table mirror as you turned away. I wasn’t supposed to see it. You hid that expression from me, but I saw it. It was disgust.

Even though I was shocked, I kept trying. Turning my head so that the brotherly kiss on the cheek became a kiss on the lips. Making the first approach in bed, only to be snubbed and told that it wasn’t ladylike. I bought new underwear. It turns out it was from Alicia’s company.

It was one day, sitting in this room, that I finally realised. I suspected your philandering but I could never prove it. And you’d never hit me. You weren’t especially cruel to me. You gave me money, bought me birthday and Christmas presents. You took me to nice restaurants. We never argued really. I shouted but you rarely reacted. You just withdrew. You were away more and more, and when you came back you played with the kids, then sat in the study.