I log into the untraceable University LinkedIn – the servers are reset every night – and type in her name. There she is, just like in the pictures of you and her. Pale, thin, with caramel coloured eyes. I see that she works for an underwear company. She has lots of recommendations.

Alicia is a top performer. She excels at everything she attempts. Since becoming the MD Alicia has taken the company from a midlist to a Blue Chip.

And:

I’ve worked with Alicia for many years now. Down to earth, funny, yet a top-notch sales person, she prides herself on her grounded attitude and flawless personal and business reputation.

Oh, this is going to be easy. I save it up for later, then scope the next one. Lorna Kershaw. This one is interesting because she was a three out of ten. If I remember correctly, there are no sex pictures, just a couple of nights out. Next: Louise Shaw. In-your-face, footballer’s-wife type, if her Facebook profile is anything to go by.

I suddenly realise that Lorraine has finished speaking.

‘… so it looks like we would be able to charge him with harassment.’

‘Oh. Right. Well, he did give me quite a fright.’

‘Yes. I know. But Caroline, if there’s anything at all you want to tell me …’

I fake laugh. I know exactly what she means and earlier on I would have. But I need time to think. Make sure I cover my tracks. I took a massive risk going to The Tea Cosy. And Pam knows how fucked up I am from the state of my bedroom. I want my kids back and that wasn’t the way to go about it. I face it out.

‘Well, I know I need to get the house sorted, if that’s what you mean?’ I know full well she doesn’t mean this. ‘By the way, I just wanted to say thanks. I phoned social services and I’ve got a meeting set up for next week. So …’

Silence. She’s debating whether or not to tell me about your mother. I hold on seconds longer.

‘If that’s all …’

‘Yes. Yes. Look, I’ll give you a call in the morning. There are a couple of other things I need to check out. Speak then.’

She drops the call and I stare at Louise Shaw. I check the comments on Monica’s account. Obviously, none from Alicia, none from frigid Lorna – she probably thinks she’s had a lucky escape. But Louise is all over it. Liking comments. She even posts a sad-face emoji.

But she doesn’t comment anything about why she slept with my fucking cheating husband. She could be agreeing or, like me, just stalking. These women. All so different. Surely they would all want to come out and show you for what you really are? A philandering bastard. I’m actually starting to wonder if we are on the same side.