When I asked you why you were in Manchester, you didn’t even try to make an excuse that you’d been delayed or had missed your flight. You’d straight-out lied. You told me that you weren’t in town; you were in Milan at an environmental conference. You made me doubt my own sanity. It turns out that I was right all along.

I’m reading and rereading. It’s as addictive as it is painful. There’s a knock on the door. I look around at your possessions scattered all over the part of the kitchen floor that isn’t occupied by unopened kitchen appliances. I peer around the door frame and see the outline of a brown uniform with a yellow lapel badge. Pushing the papers and the briefcase back into the holdall, I throw it out of the back door and close the door quietly.

‘Coming. Just coming.’

I wrap a towel around my head and pull on my dressing gown over my clothes. I catch a glimpse of myself in the hallway mirror as I open the front door and realise I am crying.

‘Oh. Hello again. Just in the shower.’

The delivery man looks past me into the hallway.

‘Did I leave anything?’

I follow his gaze.

‘No. I don’t think so. There were the cases I gave you earlier. That’s all.’

He stands there, looking into the garden now.

‘Could you check? Only there was another item.’

‘Oh. Right. I don’t think so. I don’t remember anything else. But I’ll have a look.’

I shut the door and back into the lounge. There’s only a tiny floor space left that isn’t filled with piled-up newspapers, academic papers and Amazon boxes, but I flick the light on and pretend to look for the bag. I count to fifty then go into the kitchen. Then I go back and open the door again.

‘No sorry. Look, I don’t know what I’m looking for so would you like to have a peep, just to see if it’s here. I mean, the other man might have popped it inside …’

He steps into the hallway and peers around the lounge door, then the kitchen door. His eyes meet mine and the shared acknowledgement that I’m not exactly coping flashes between us.

‘Right. No. I can see it’s not here. Must’ve been left in the van. I’ll check tomorrow. Thanks, love. And this lot,’ he points into the house, ‘you can get help, you know.’

I nod and shut the door.