Anders narrows his brows. “Dude there is happy then there’s this. You’re completely out of character right before a game. Have you been drinking?” His words shock me. Does he really think I would do that?

“What? Fuck, no, I wouldn’t drink on game day. You know that. You know me. Where is this coming from?” Anger rises in my voice as the rest of the team continues to get ready amongst themselves, oblivious to our conversation.

Anders leans closer, speaking in a hushed pitch. “I love you, you know that. But you have been kind of a mess since everything with Ellis, and then the last few weeks you have been super quiet… now suddenly you’re on top of the world. It doesn’t make sense.”

I can’t deny his logic. Ellis left me with a shitty note and wouldn’t answer my calls; I wasn’t going to ambush her at work, so I lost her again. If he thinks I’ve been bad now, he should have seen me when I first traded to New York, I was a mess. The only time I didn’t drink was before a game.

“Shit, I know I’ve been different but I didn’t think it was that noticeable. I mean we have still been winning. I didn’t think you would care.” My words are bullshit, even to me. Of course he cares. Anders cares too much for his own good, though it is what makes him a good leader for our team.

“Ruin, of course I care. I’m not just the captain, I’m your friend, right? Talk to me.” His eyes have softened and are full of genuine care. He’s right to be suspicious. I wish I could tell him everything. In the two years I have been back here I have spent more time with these men than I have with anyone else; and not just training. Anders and Edge, even Rook, are a big part of my life. I want to lean on them now. But I agreed with Ellis that we would wait.

“She’ll kill me,” I say. My heart is screaming for me to tell him. Just him, no one else has to know.

“Who?” He asks.

“Ellis.” I grimace. I’m going to tell him. My mind is already made up. I just hope she will forgive me.

“You have been speaking to Ellis?” he asks. Say yes. Say yes. Just say yes.

“More than that.” The words leave my mouth before I have time for regret.

“What do you mean, more than that?” Anders’s pitiful expression has turned to one of pure confusion.

I take in a deep breath before revealing the biggest weight on my shoulders: “She’s pregnant.”

I’ve never actually said the words out loud. I told my parents “We’re having a baby.” But Ellis Ainsley is pregnant right now. I saw the blob baby myself.