In the mirror above the sink, the woman looking back at me is distorted by smudges and water marks. My short blonde hair is flat and unwashed and the blue rings under my eyes look more akin to a Tim Burton cartoon than a real human. The closer I look, the more haggard I seem. The lines in my forehead seem more pronounced and my lips are cracked beyond belief. Just last month at the bar I had felt beautiful, but now I can’t remember if I actually looked it or just felt it under Liam’s gaze. He always had this knack for making me feel just more.

Prettier. Smarter. Stronger.

Unbeknownst to me, while I have been cataloguing my flaws, Jack has left me to my own devices and has gone back to his remaining moments of screen time before dinner. Dinner that I have yet to start cooking. Dinner that I don’t think I’m going to start cooking anytime soon. Pizza it is, I guess.

With dinner confirmed, my thoughts turn back to Liam. I know I have to tell him. But I can’t help but remember how this ordeal went last time.

In short, Jack’s dad Michael was a dick. He was always a dick. Frankly, I’m not sure why I thought he would act any less dick-ish when I told him I was pregnant. My young heart wanted to believe he would take me in his arms and spin me around like in the movies and shout the news from the rooftops. Instead it was a lot of yelling, swearing, and him demanding a paternity test even though we had been exclusively dating for a year and a half. Apparently when he said we were exclusive, to him that meant coming home to my bed every night but had no jurisdiction on what he did during the day. Or should I say who he did during the day.

In the end, he was unwilling to be in Jack’s life and I couldn’t argue that I wanted him there. Five years later and there has not been a dime of child support or a birthday card. I don’t even know where the man lives any more. Which is probably a good thing.

Still, I know I’m one of the lucky ones, getting my business degree and opening my own flower shop with what was left of my savings has not been a yellow brick road, but it was my road and I thank my stars every day that it has been enough to support Jack and I.