“The smell.” I try to sip at some water to get the taste out of my mouth but I still don’t feel steady. “I can’t stomach the smell of basically any food today. Even crumpets sound horrible.”

“That’s your biggest craving!” She sounds scandalised.

“I know, it sucks but with the pain I’m in, food just keeps slipping down my priority list.” I groan, walking into the back room to sit in the office chair, popping my feet on a delivery box, hoping to help with the swelling.

“Aw I’m sorry. Are you okay to be here? You should take a half day,” she tells me, fussing with the delivery sheets on my desk. She is probably right but I don’t want to give in.

“Yeah, maybe. I want to be here, it’s my happy place, but I do really feel shitty.” It sucks to admit.

“I’m here to get everything done, just think about it?” She places a soft hand on my shoulder squeezing lightly.

“I will.” I promise her, but when the phone on my desk rings I still jump right into work. Maybe if I work hard enough I will be able to push everything else out of my mind. Ignore how weak I feel. Ignore the dizziness on the edges of my consciousness and the vomit wanting to surface.

After a few hours of persisting with work, the room starts spinning.

I’ve spent the day ordering stock and filling out delivery schedules for the weekend so everyone gets their orders on time. Lyndsey has been working out front with the customers, she wanted me to be sat down and not running – well, waddling – around. I grip the edge of the desk until everything comes back into focus. I have been dizzy on and off for a while but after this round my pulse starts to rise. I can feel a slight throbbing in my chest, and my fingers start to tingle.

Out front I hear the doorbell ding and then everything comes back into focus. It was a strange sensation, but the dizziness dissipates and even though I can still feel my heartbeat in my head, everything else seems to go back to normal. I breathe a sigh of relief. It’s okay. I will have to keep an eye on that sensation, I remind myself. But for now, it’s gone. It’s okay.

I walk out into the main store, following the sound of Lyndsey’s voice. I’m greeted with the sight of her helping a customer as she flashes me an encouraging smile. The smile I return to her is anything but. If she notices she doesn’t say in front of the customer, which I appreciate.