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Back Little Universes Save as PDF
Chapters (63)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. Part 1
  6. Mae
  7. Hannah
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. Part 2
  33. 25
  34. 26
  35. 27
  36. 28
  37. 29
  38. 30
  39. 31
  40. 32
  41. 33
  42. 34
  43. 35
  44. 36
  45. 37
  46. 38
  47. Part 3
  48. 39
  49. 40
  50. 41
  51. 42
  52. 43
  53. 44
  54. 45
  55. 46
  56. 47
  57. 48
  58. Epilogue
  59. Mental Health Resources
  60. Acknowledgments
  61. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  62. About the Author
  63. Newsletter Sign-up

I have to do right by Lila, too. None of this is her fault. We will be together. I promise. You have my heart. You’ve had it since the first moment I saw you.

I love you with everything in me.

—G

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK.”

I grab my pillow and scream into it.

Then I keep reading.

Don’t Go 9:17 PM (August 17)

Rebecca Chen <[email protected]>

To Greg <[email protected]>

Please don’t get on that plane tomorrow. Please.

Re: Don’t Go 11:34 PM (August 17)

Greg Winters <[email protected]>

To Rebecca <[email protected]>

I don’t like this any more than you do, sweetheart. Every time I touch her I feel like I’m cheating on you. I tried to get out of this trip, but every excuse I had wasn’t working, and I couldn’t afford for her to get suspicious. I can’t miss out on this last year with the girls at home. I know I’m asking a lot, but, please, this is what we need to do. I want Hannah and Mae to love you as much as I do, and they won’t if they think you’ve broken up our family. They’re too young to understand. And I don’t want to live apart from them, not yet. Please trust me. What’s a year more when we’ll have the rest of our lives together? I promise that by the time I get home, Lila will know that forever is off the table. That’s reserved for you. I’ll be home before you know it.

—G

Re: Don’t Go 2:00 AM (August 18)

Rebecca Chen <[email protected]>

To Greg <[email protected]>

Baby, there will never be a good time to do this. I don’t want to be your secret anymore. I’ve been doing it for almost a year, lying to everyone I know.

If you don’t tell Lila by the time you get home, then I’m done.

B.

I’m sorry 6:23 AM (August 19)

Rebecca Chen <[email protected]>

To Greg <[email protected]>

That wasn’t fair, what I said. I’m sorry. I’m just tired of pretending. And there’s a reason we can’t wait—maybe we can talk about it, if you can get away. I love you. I want everything with you. It’s killing me that she gets to wake up next to you every morning.

Tell me we’re okay.

B.

Re: I’m sorry 7:30 AM (August 19)

Greg Winters <[email protected]>

To Rebecca <[email protected]>

We’re okay. I’ll be home before you know it. Gotta run—the airport shuttle’s here. I’ll call from Malaysia, okay? I love you.

—G

I scroll back, past this summer, reading every email. It goes on like this for almost a year. All of her emails hidden in a file marked GRADING. He’s been fucking her since I was sixteen.