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Back Little Universes Save as PDF
Chapters (63)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. Part 1
  6. Mae
  7. Hannah
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. Part 2
  33. 25
  34. 26
  35. 27
  36. 28
  37. 29
  38. 30
  39. 31
  40. 32
  41. 33
  42. 34
  43. 35
  44. 36
  45. 37
  46. 38
  47. Part 3
  48. 39
  49. 40
  50. 41
  51. 42
  52. 43
  53. 44
  54. 45
  55. 46
  56. 47
  57. 48
  58. Epilogue
  59. Mental Health Resources
  60. Acknowledgments
  61. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  62. About the Author
  63. Newsletter Sign-up

There are dozens of unopened emails, and I have no intention of reading any of them until my eye lands on a name I recognize: Rebecca Chen. Dad’s research assistant. He’d never brought her to the house to come help grade papers and eat chili, like the others, but we met her at the funeral. She kind of looked like Constance Wu, with glossy black hair and big brown eyes. They were red and puffy when we met her, but so were many of the eyes in the room that day. She was older than us, maybe late twenties. I was pretty high by the time we started chatting, but I remember Mae looking horrified because they were talking about quasars, and I said that sounded like a venereal disease.

There are a lot of emails from Rebecca, the last one two days after the tsunami. I click on it, in case it’s important—about his research or the book. I could tell Mae and she’d know what to do.

Call Me 8:12 AM (August 31)

Rebecca Chen <[email protected]>

To Greg <[email protected]>

I am freaking out. Please, I know it’s got to be insane over there, but please call me. Please. I’m so scared. Are you okay? How can I help? Do you want me to check on the girls?

I love you and I’m sorry about pressuring you, I am. Please be okay. I love you so much it hurts.

B.

I stare at the screen.

“What. The. Fuck?”

I push away from the desk and stand up so fast the chair topples over. I can hear Mae in the kitchen, talking about our parents’ wedding china with Aunt Nora and Cynthia. They bought special stuff to pack it in. Uncle Tony’s in the garage, doing man stuff while Nate pretends to do man stuff with him. Gram and Papa are on a walk. It’s just me and this computer and the heat racing through my body, so fast I can hardly breathe.

I lean on the desk and read the email three more times before I grab the laptop and tiptoe upstairs. I lock my bedroom door and sit on my bed. My hands are shaking so hard I can hardly scroll through the emails, but there is no fucking way I’m not reading them. I start with the ones just before Dad left for Malaysia.

Soon 10:15 PM (August 12)

Greg Winters <[email protected]>

To Rebecca <[email protected]>

Sweetheart, I know it’s hard to wait. I know. But I need more time. The girls are still in school and I don’t want to pull the rug out from under them. And you know everything Hannah’s dealing with. I can’t risk her sobriety.