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Back Little Universes Save as PDF
Chapters (63)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. Part 1
  6. Mae
  7. Hannah
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. Part 2
  33. 25
  34. 26
  35. 27
  36. 28
  37. 29
  38. 30
  39. 31
  40. 32
  41. 33
  42. 34
  43. 35
  44. 36
  45. 37
  46. 38
  47. Part 3
  48. 39
  49. 40
  50. 41
  51. 42
  52. 43
  53. 44
  54. 45
  55. 46
  56. 47
  57. 48
  58. Epilogue
  59. Mental Health Resources
  60. Acknowledgments
  61. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  62. About the Author
  63. Newsletter Sign-up

Nah opens her eyes long enough to look at me. “When you get to space, will you name a star after me?”

“Of course.” I know she’s trying to reassure me that I will still be an astronaut no matter what. I don’t know how she can keep her eye on my prize and not have one of her own. “What made you think of that?”

“I was thinking. You know, in The Little Prince. That line: ‘In one of those stars I shall be living…’”

When the Little Prince leaves Earth, he tells the pilot that when he looks up at the sky at night, the prince will be in one of those stars, laughing. “I shall not leave you,” he assures the pilot.

And then a poisonous snake bites him. And he leaves Earth forever.

“Will you?” Her voice is insistent. “Name one for me?”

“Sure. We’ll name it together. When I’m up there. I’ll send you a Hubble image of it,” I say. “After you see it, you can decide if you want it to be called Nah or Hannah or maybe—”

“You’ll pick the right thing,” she says, closing her eyes again. “You always do.”

The sunlight moves across her, leaving my sister in shadows.

I stand in the doorway, watching her. “I’ll be back soon, okay?”

She doesn’t open her eyes. Already gone to the places I can’t follow. A country song, playing in the dark.

33

Mae

ISS Location: Low-Earth Orbit

Earth Date: 5 December

Earth Time (EST): 15:37

Boston is a small world.

River is on my train, her eyes closed, palms on her thighs. Outright meditating on the subway. Her hair is covered by a turban so that she looks like a young Zadie Smith, and a thick scarf with a diamond pattern is tossed around her neck like a feather boa.

Mom, you would love her.

When she opens her eyes, I switch seats so I can sit down next to her. “You weren’t kidding when you said you could meditate anywhere.”

She laughs. “Gotta get your serenity on when you can, my friend. Especially during finals season. I would tell you never to go to grad school, but I doubt NASA would like that.”

Who am I if I’m not the girl who’s going to be an astronaut? I know I can’t assume that taking Annapolis off the table means I won’t be an astronaut, but it might make it harder, and it’s already almost impossible.

I sink into the plastic groove of the chair. This tiredness, it must be what getting old feels like.

“What’s on your mind, Mae?”