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Back Little Universes Save as PDF
Chapters (63)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. Part 1
  6. Mae
  7. Hannah
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. Part 2
  33. 25
  34. 26
  35. 27
  36. 28
  37. 29
  38. 30
  39. 31
  40. 32
  41. 33
  42. 34
  43. 35
  44. 36
  45. 37
  46. 38
  47. Part 3
  48. 39
  49. 40
  50. 41
  51. 42
  52. 43
  53. 44
  54. 45
  55. 46
  56. 47
  57. 48
  58. Epilogue
  59. Mental Health Resources
  60. Acknowledgments
  61. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  62. About the Author
  63. Newsletter Sign-up

20

Mae

ISS Location: Low-Earth Orbit

Earth Date: 25 October

Earth Time (EST): 17:43

I have been kidnapped by a Zen master who wears sky-blue nail polish.

I wish that did not make me a little happy.

I wish we were going farther than just across the Charles River.

I wish we were going as far away from my sister as possible. Preferably entirely different planetary systems.

No.

I just wish she were here with us. Wanted to be with us. Instead she’s off who knows where, with who knows who.

“I’m only coming out because it’s Uncle Tony’s poker night and it’s impossible to study with a bunch of drunk Italians in the kitchen,” I say. “Just so you know.”

“Noted.”

Ben steadies me as the train swerves, the driver taking the curve a bit too fast, if you ask me, and I grip the metal pole in the center of the car tighter. Halloween’s next week, and people are wearing costumes. We are traveling with a ghost, a sexy maid, and one of the Ninja Turtles.

Humans are strange.

I look up at Ben. “What kind of name is Dharma Bums, anyway?”

“Stole it from a Kerouac book. Didn’t actually like the book, but it’s a cool name. Dharma means truth in Sanskrit.”

“So we’re going to … a religious thing? I thought you were a self-respecting atheist.”

He rolls his eyes. “I’m a card-carrying atheist, don’t worry. We just sit. Talk. Get food after. It’s nice.”

“My dad tried to get me to meditate once, and it was a failed mission.”

He laughs. “Isn’t everything, first time around?”

And the way he looks at me, I know we’re not talking about meditation. Ben is like the sediment he studies in geophysics. Many layers.

I decide that now is a good time to inspect my shoes. Boots. I have boots now. Warm ones with fuzz inside. Very strange. I miss flip-flops, but these are good practice for my space suit.

“How’s Hannah?” he asks.

“Why? Did Nate say something?”

It’s only been two days since we hatched our plan at Castaways, with phase one being me throwing her pills down the toilet (again) and her breaking the ISS.

I don’t want Ben to only see Hannah as this messed-up science fair project. I want him to see the real her, the non-addict her. The one who sings and dances in the kitchen and does cartwheels on the beach and laughs so hard at dumb shows that she cries.

“No. Why?”

“Nothing. She’s … really great. Usually.”

“I know. I can tell.”

“How?”

His eyes find mine. “Because you are.”

He’s really too much.

I shake my head. “Nate and I had this plan. To … fix her. I don’t think it will work.” He smiles a little. “What?”

“Well, that was your first mistake, Mae. You can’t fix anyone.”