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Back Little Universes Save as PDF
Chapters (63)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. Part 1
  6. Mae
  7. Hannah
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. Part 2
  33. 25
  34. 26
  35. 27
  36. 28
  37. 29
  38. 30
  39. 31
  40. 32
  41. 33
  42. 34
  43. 35
  44. 36
  45. 37
  46. 38
  47. Part 3
  48. 39
  49. 40
  50. 41
  51. 42
  52. 43
  53. 44
  54. 45
  55. 46
  56. 47
  57. 48
  58. Epilogue
  59. Mental Health Resources
  60. Acknowledgments
  61. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  62. About the Author
  63. Newsletter Sign-up

In the middle of the night, I get up. Can’t sleep. Keep thinking about the weight of dirt. Mom hated being dirty. Every time she got out of the shower she’d say something like, God, I love showers.

The kitchen is dark and smells like lemons and onions. I check the fridge, peek inside the container of soup sitting on the top shelf. I already know, though. What it is.

Avgolemono.

Mom’s favorite. And the soup she made when Yia-yia died. Secret Karalis family recipe.

My sister didn’t make a goodbye soup for Mom with me. Because she has decided I am leaving, too. Maybe she already knows what soup she’ll make for me when I go to Annapolis. Except.

I’m not going.

I grip the counter. “I’m not going, Dad. I’m sorry. I know you understand.”

Hannah will not be all right by June. And I won’t be a second wave in her life. Not making soup together was the sign I needed. She’s never been that far gone.

There is a bloom of orange light outside—a flame. Aunt Nora is in the backyard, smoking a cigarette. She looks a million years old. Tonight, she found out her sister was buried in a mass grave.

Aunt Nora’s accelerated aging makes sense. I think maybe I am a million years old, too.

“Mom,” I whisper. “Aunt Nora’s smoking. You should come yell at her.”

Somewhere, Mom sighs.

The soup pot sits in the sink, soaking. I turn on the faucet, wait until the water is so hot I can hardly stand it, then I scrub the pot.

Cleaning up my sister’s mess.

Part 2

Across the Universe

25

Mae

ISS Location: Low-Earth Orbit

Earth Date: 24 November

Earth Time (EST): 15:21

It is November now. Almost Thanksgiving.

We are at an apple orchard because that is a thing people do here in Boston. They pick apples. Then they take them home and bake pies, because there isn’t much else to do with a bushel of apples. When Ben insisted we celebrate my birthday, I told him he had to plan it because I am not interested in a birthday without my parents, and this is what he came up with. He said it’s good to get some dirt underneath your fingernails. Typical geophysicist.

After, we are going to the Dresden Dolls concert. Maybe it will be fun, but I feel bad about dancing when they’re dead.

This is not the first birthday party I’ve had without my parents.