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Back Little Universes Save as PDF
Chapters (63)
  1. Title Page
  2. Copyright Notice
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. Part 1
  6. Mae
  7. Hannah
  8. 1
  9. 2
  10. 3
  11. 4
  12. 5
  13. 6
  14. 7
  15. 8
  16. 9
  17. 10
  18. 11
  19. 12
  20. 13
  21. 14
  22. 15
  23. 16
  24. 17
  25. 18
  26. 19
  27. 20
  28. 21
  29. 22
  30. 23
  31. 24
  32. Part 2
  33. 25
  34. 26
  35. 27
  36. 28
  37. 29
  38. 30
  39. 31
  40. 32
  41. 33
  42. 34
  43. 35
  44. 36
  45. 37
  46. 38
  47. Part 3
  48. 39
  49. 40
  50. 41
  51. 42
  52. 43
  53. 44
  54. 45
  55. 46
  56. 47
  57. 48
  58. Epilogue
  59. Mental Health Resources
  60. Acknowledgments
  61. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
  62. About the Author
  63. Newsletter Sign-up

I have to move so the paramedics can do their work, but I keep my hand in hers. They shine light in her eyes, and she winces.

“I was drowning,” she says as they load her onto a stretcher. “But it was nice. Warm. I don’t think it hurt them. Not the whole time, at least. Not at the end. I think it wasn’t so bad.”

A weight lifts off me then, as though a heavy bird of prey had been sitting on top of my chest since the wave. That had been the worst part, maybe, about all of this: not knowing how much it hurt when they died.

Hannah closes her eyes and sighs. I think she’s asleep, but then she says, “It’s okay that they weren’t together. You’re never really alone. I know that now.”

“Miss?” The male paramedic gently taps my arm. “We need to get her in the ambulance. You can come with, if you want.”

I nod and let go of Hannah’s hand, then turn to my cousin.

“Nate, can you—” I start, but he pulls me into his arms and my words get lost against his shirt.

“Go,” he says. “We’ll see you there. Text me which hospital.”

“Okay.”

Nah opens her eyes for a second. “Thank you,” she whispers to the paramedic.

She looks at my sister, surprised. Hannah’s eyes close, and the woman turns to me.

“You’ve got a fighter here.” She wheels Hannah out, past the throng of partyers, who stare at us all, shocked.

Drew is still in the corner, looking in the direction Hannah went.

“Thank you,” I say.

He blinks and looks around, as if he’s just noticing we’re here. “I didn’t do anything.”

“You kept her here,” I say. “You saved her. Again.” I wrap my arms around him. “My parents would have loved you.”

It’s the highest praise I could give anyone.

When I pull away, Drew looks down, overcome, and then I kiss Ben because you never know how many kisses you get and then I hurry out of the room, toward my sister. My sister, who is alive.

When I Died

some deaths give
life

Bed Railing

Emergency Room

Mass General Hospital

46

Hannah

I guess some people need to get as close to death as possible before they realize they don’t want to die after all.