Maybe I didn’t try to save her because a part of me knew that I’d have to give up Annapolis to do that. I’d hoped flushing her pills or calling Micah would do the trick. I was trying to pass her off to him, wasn’t I?

I was willfully ignorant. The biggest crime you can commit.

Drew stands. “Call the cops. Call the damn mayor, if you want. I don’t deserve her—that’s true. But she’s the one good thing in my life. And I know I can be a good thing in hers. And you’re not keeping me from her.”

I reach up and grab his arm, squeeze so hard he winces as I pull myself up. He’s tall, taller than Hannah, even, so I have to stand on my toes to say what I have to say properly.

“You’re right: You don’t deserve her.” I swallow. “But … you’re also right about me. I have to … to recalculate my course.”

He nods.

“Here’s the thing, though,” I say. “You almost took her from me. In a way, you already have. Her addiction isn’t your fault. It’s no one’s fault. But easy access to pills—that is your fault. Not talking to my family so we can all keep her safe—also your fault. If you really love her, you’ll stay away.” I drop my hand. “Our family can’t handle one more disaster, and that’s all you’ll be. You’ll hurt her. You already have. And she’ll hurt you. That’s what she does. And then she’ll feel bad about it. And it will make everything worse. We’ll take it from here. Okay?”

Drew grips the bar above us as the train takes a sharp turn. “The difference between you and me, Mae, is that when I look at your sister, I don’t see a problem. I see a solution.” The smile he gives me is sad, and old. It’s seen a lot of things maybe I haven’t. “She’s so much more than any of you have ever given her credit for.” He leans forward. “And I’ll tell you a little something I’ve picked up as a dealer. The pills, they have nothing to do with the stuff everyone thinks users take them for. Hannah doesn’t take them because of the wave or the abortion or because she fell in with the wrong crowd.”

“But … why, then?”

“I think you need to spend some time getting to know your sister better, Mae.”

The train stops, and Drew turns, folding himself into the trickle of bodies exiting at Harvard Square. I stare after him long after the doors shut and the train starts again.