“No,” I say. “It feels like a wave.” I grab my purse. “I have to go.”

I try to stand, which is difficult when your foot has fallen asleep, and Ben is looking up at me, stricken. A question forms on his lips, but before he can ask it, before he can ask my question—Why? Why?—and I can give him his favorite words—I don’t know—a bell rings, clear and bright.

It is the sound the sun would make, if it could make a sound, when it is coming up over the horizon. Hello, Earth. Good morning. Good morning.

I am half-crouched, uncertain. I can hear my father ringing that bell in his study. It meant he was done meditating, that it was okay to knock on the door, to come in, to be together again.

Gravity expresses itself in its most familiar way: It pushes me down, back onto the cushion.

The room quiets, a quiet that thrums with expectation. Readiness. How it feels when Dad is about to lecture, and he looks out over the auditorium. Pushes up his glasses.

I pull my knees up to my chin. Ben reaches over and—just for a moment—rests his hand on my foot, on my Doctor Who sock, and squeezes. Then he lets go.

A woman is now at the front of the room, sitting on the cushion. She has the most beautiful Afro I have ever seen, like a star system, and wide-set eyes that know things. I think you only get to sit on that cushion if you know things.

Like almost everyone here, the woman is covered in tattoos. Her hands, even. When she puts her palms together, the sides read: ONLY LOVE.

“Hey, everyone. I recognize most of you, but for those of you I haven’t met, my name is River. Yes, that’s my real name, not some shit I made up to sound enlightened.”

Oh, I like her.

There is soft laughter, and she smiles. For just a moment, her eyes meet mine, and she gives me a nod.

“So, here’s the deal. We’re gonna sit. Simple—but not easy.” She shakes her head. “Contrary to popular belief, we don’t sit here to relax. To have a little time-out from our lives, do some deep breathing, and call it a night. Nope. You want that, you motherfuckers came to the wrong meditation class.” Now there’s some real laughter. “We are going to sit here with all our shit, with ourselves just as we are, and accept whatever is happening. We are going to just be. Right here, right now. Not in yesterday, thinking about the past. Not in tomorrow, thinking about the future. We are going to be here. Right now. This moment. This breath.