I have visited Mijwan only once after Kaifi passed away. The government was releasing a First Day Cover envelope (postage stamp) on him in Azamgarh and I mustered enough courage to go. It has been six years since, but I find it very difficult to travel now. I only bask in the knowledge that the dream Kaifi had for Mijwan is being carried forward.

I have made peace with my surroundings. I live with Shabana and Javed, but Janki Kutir is still my home. We continue to celebrate Holi there. My life follows a routine. Every morning, I have tea in the drawing room with Shabana and Javed. We read the papers, argue about the headlines. I protest at the rising prices as I stitch my sari blouses with my own hands. At eighty-one, I am still able to work the needle myself.

Shabana keeps teasing me at my abiding passion for saris but I feel happy when her friends exclaim how well dressed I am. I think it is important for senior citizens to be well groomed and look presentable. It enhances your self-esteem and makes you attractive for younger people.

I go for a walk in the evenings where I’ve made a set of new friends with whom I discuss mundane things. On Sundays, I play cards with Bijon Das Gupta (whom I think of as my own son; he is Baba [Azmi]’s close friend) at Tanvi’s house on her behest. I’m addicted to the TV as all old people are. One has to fill in the day somehow. I think older people get so addicted to routine because it is important for them to divide their day into bite-sizes so that the long day doesn’t loom ahead interminably.

I am content that I have earned the respect of those around me. It is in part due to their generosity, but it is also in good measure, I think, because I make the effort to be of interest to them. I participate in the love interests of young people who could easily be of my grandchildren’s age and am bit of a maverick when it comes to advising them. I believe in love as the single most nurturing of all human relations. People around me are always complaining about the alarming rate of divorce growing among our young people: ‘Look at her, just two years into marriage and she has left everything and come back home. Such shame she has brought on us!’

I beg to disagree. Of course divorce is a painful thing for both partners but I don’t think that getting divorced is a matter of shame for the parents. I believe parents must keep their doors open for their daughters as they would for their sons. Only then can a daughter have the strength to walk out of a bad marriage.