‘I think you just spouted a whole load of horseshit.’

‘I’ve never heard you swear before.’

‘Well, your stupidity deserves it.’

Pregnant Mia is even more forthright than un-pregnant Mia.

There’s not much I can say to that.

‘Listen to me. That boy has loved you for the last ten years, and if you don’t know that, then I honestly don’t know what to say. I never brought it up because I assumed you knew. It’s so obvious. It’s so obvious that even Mark has noticed. And for the record, you two are unbelievably compatible. You round each other out. And don’t tell me that you would be punching; he’s the one that would be punching. Your dream brain isn’t getting confused, your dream brain is trying to wake you up and tell you that you like Peter as a friend and as something else.’

I’m still sat here with my mouth wide open.

‘And don’t give me any of this friends-can’t-be-boyfriends nonsense. I don’t know where you get that from.’

I think on this for a moment.

But no.

She doesn’t get it.

It’s pathetic to admit that I’m still affected by the memories made by a seventeen-year-old Bea. A seventeen-year-old Bea who had her heart crushed by Sam, her one-time best friend and first boyfriend.

It’s pathetic to admit that I had thought we were going to get married. Nobody gets married to the boy they started dating at fifteen.

It’s pathetic to admit that his parting words to me – ‘I wish we had just stayed friends’ – still haunt me to this day.

It’s pathetic to admit that I tried to console myself by remembering how his dirty sports clothes could stink out the whole house, but I still felt really alone.

It’s pathetic to admit that I cried for him even though my dad had just died.

She doesn’t get it. She’s looking at me expectantly. I should explain it to her, but I don’t want to.

‘We’ve been friends for so long. It would be too odd to be anything else now. I wouldn’t know where to start. I can’t fancy Peter, and Peter doesn’t fancy me.’

CHAPTER 26

The most productive thing I did on Monday following my impromptu lunch with Mia was find a good deal on a spa weekend. Our friendship back on track, we decided to pamper ourselves and get facials that we – well, I – can’t afford, and wear extremely large, towely bathrobes all day long. I am so happy to have her back. Even my mum can tell that my mood has improved. Her morning messages have finally eased off.

Thanks to my productivity, a few weeks later I’m precisely as I hoped I would be. In a bathrobe that is perfectly towely and far too large, sipping a summery Aperol Spritz – very fitting for July – and sitting on a lounger next to a miraculously unoccupied pool with Mia by my side. I am very content. It was a great idea to escape the city.