‘So, tell me. Why haven’t you met up with Colin the hot boiler guy again? What’s been stopping you? Your love for Peter?’

I roll my eyes. Subtle. ‘No. And stop it. That was quite a while ago now, and we fell out of touch. I’ve been very busy. I haven’t been able to schedule in any admin time, let alone time to actually see him.’

‘Admin? You need to file papers to have sex?’

‘No – admin. My bikini line. Admin.’ It was bad enough when we had sex before. Now it’s taken on a resemblance to Hagrid.

‘Ooooo, admin. I don’t have time for that.’

Mia isn’t very hairy, so it probably doesn’t make a huge difference if she relaxes on her hedge trimming.

‘But back to Peter.’ She reaches into her bag and pulls out a stack of paper at least an inch thick. ‘I had some down time at work this week, and thought I would do some research. At lunch the other day you mentioned that you wouldn’t even know where to start with making Peter something more than a friend. From what I read, your situation seems to be quite a common one. You’ve put him in your “Friend Zone”.’ She thumps the stack of paper on the table, dangerously close to my drink. ‘This research should help you get him out of there.’

I look at it.

‘I made some notes and highlighted the sections I found most interesting. I’ve also written up the key findings on the top couple of sheets, but it’s well worth reading the whole thing.’

I flip the edges. ‘Mia, there must be two hundred pages here.’

‘Two hundred and ninety-three actually, but some of them are double-spaced.’

I stare at the pages for a while, too stunned to be able to read any of the words.

‘Thanks, I guess.’

My phone beeps.

‘Bea! You aren’t meant to have your phone on you! We’re meant to be relaxing.’

‘I know, I know, but I’m conditioned to be more stressed if I don’t have my phone on me. It’s like a new kind of Stockholm Syndrome.’ I’m also very grateful to have a reason to put her research down and ignore it.

The text definitely distracts me. I am entirely unprepared for what it says.

‘Holy shit.’

‘What?’

‘No way.’

‘What?’

‘I can’t believe it.’

‘Tell me, or I’ll take the phone off you and look myself.’

‘Tilly’s engaged.’

I feel so guilty that I haven’t seen her or spoken to her since before the fair. We don’t have the type of friendship that needs constant feeding, but I feel completely out of the loop and it’s all my own doing.

‘Hold on, hasn’t she been going out with that guy for like, a second? How much do we know about him? Are her parents OK with this? Do we need to stage an intervention? Or are we happy for her?’ It’s really easy to forget that Mia and Tilly have never met.