I feel dizzy.

‘Oh, no, I … I’m not … We’re not—’

‘Of course, it’s only for a couple of years. They could fly by. Between you and me, I think the London office doesn’t really want to let him go.’

A barman comes over to take our order, but all I can do is stand there like a guppy, because, fuck …

I don’t want him to go either.

CHAPTER 29

I fucking fancy my fucking friend and now that fucking friend is moving to fucking Australia.

After Al let the news slip, I made up a very pathetic excuse about drinking too much prosecco and escaped home. I haven’t messaged Peter since, and he hasn’t messaged me with his news either. I wonder if that was why he looked so uncomfortable at the start of the evening. Meanwhile my thoughts remain very confused. This is precisely why dating friends is a bad idea. I’m sad enough that he’s moving away; imagine if anything had actually happened between us.

Luckily, helping with Tilly’s wedding is proving to be quite a nice distraction. Apparently six bridesmaids weren’t enough to pull this thing off in time. We’re currently at a lunch-time cake-tasting appointment. I eat when I’m anxious. The samples have had to be replenished twice already.

‘Do you think the vanilla sponge is boring? Are people bored of vanilla? Or is it a classic for a reason?’

I shovel another bite into my mouth to refresh my memory. Unable to answer, I shake my head.

‘No –’ I try to get out some words anyway – ‘it’s delicious. So light and fluffy.’

She takes a tiny bite.

The smiley baker sits down opposite us. ‘Have you decided?’ Being a cake baker must be the best occupation in the world. Imagine always being within easy reach of sponge. No wonder she’s so smiley.

I look over to Tills.

‘Yes. Vanilla for the big tier, lemon for the middle tier and gluten-free carrot cake for the top tier.’

The cake lady claps. ‘Perfect! A wonderful combination.’ She stands up again. ‘Let me go get my diary to write down all the details.’

‘Thanks for coming today.’ Tills faces me.

‘Are you kidding? Eating is the only sport I’ve ever excelled at.’ As if to prove a point, I take a bite of the chocolate cake. Part of me thinks she made a mistake with the vanilla, even though it is really fluffy. ‘Are you OK though? You do look quite tired.’

‘It’s just all this wedmin. I should have listened to you when you told me I was nuts to try and organize the whole thing in five months. I’ve had to cash in all the favours people owe me, and I think it’s all on track, but there are some things I don’t think I’m going to be able to do. I didn’t appreciate how many things there were to arrange. We’re only able to get this cake because another customer dropped out.’