I start a text to Marek on the replacement handset my sister got me. I find it hard to picture his face, even though he’s the man I’ve woken up next to for the last six months.

Hey. I’m going to bed early tonight. Have a wonderful night and I’ll see you in 2018.

I usually add xxx without hesitation but this afternoon it feels dishonest. I end it with Kerry and no kisses.

I half expect a call, but instead I get a message back.

I will call tomorrow. Happy new year, zabka. Mx

I hobble to the kitchen and pour a generous double of the flavoured gin Marilyn got me for Christmas. There’s no tonic so I drink it neat. Hibiscus? More like Hibiscrub hand cleanser.

I’m pouring another when my mobile rings. An international number. Do they not give scammers New Year’s Eve off? I answer, partly because I wouldn’t mind swearing at someone. ‘Hi?’

‘Is that Kerry?’

‘Gwen?’ Now I really wish I hadn’t answered, and brace myself for the telling off of my life. She must be apoplectic if she’s calling from Myanmar.

‘Now, listen, Sawyer’s been bombarding me with emails and links though I can’t click on any of them halfway up Mount Phongun.’

‘I messed up. I’m sorry.’

‘Yes, you did. Worse than that, you managed to get yourself filmed doing it. First rule, don’t get caught. I’ve had messages from the others. Lars is especially cross with you.’

When Lars called me, he was sympathetic but there was a hard edge to his voice. If your own colleagues aren’t backing you, you’re screwed. ‘I’m angry with myself, too.’

‘Righto. This call is costing me about a fiver per minute so cutting to the chase. You’ve screwed up royally, Kerry, but in purely financial terms, I’ve no intention of letting stuffy Sawyer chuck you out and waste the money we’ve invested so far. I am certain we can work out a way of putting this right, and that Joel chap has suggested a few things—’

‘Joel called you?’

‘Nice boy. Don’t know how he got through, but these TV people have their ways, don’t they? Anyway, he was suggesting how we could turn this to our advantage. So consider yourself told off, but don’t worry. We won’t be throwing you out of the helicopter just yet. OK?’

‘Er. Yes. Yes, OK. Thank you.’

‘You will be making up for it, don’t you worry. Happy New Year, Kerry. Oh. Nearly forgot. Joel asked me to tell you he’s put something on his video channel, to try to divert people from the footage of you in the ditch.’

‘What?’

‘No idea. No signal here. Must dash, back on the twelfth. And avoid camera crews, will you, Kerry, for pity’s sake.’