I try to focus on the present, on Luke, on the flat planes of his face and the anxiety in his eyes. He’s not forty yet but his slow recovery has given him the pallor and shadows of a man fifteen years older.

‘It gets better.’

He frowns. ‘Well, you came through it. You’re an inspiration.’

‘No mate, I’m a cautionary tale. This is how to screw everything up when the universe grants you a second chance.’

Luke looks astonished. ‘You don’t look like you’ve screwed it up. You’re fit, you’ve got a lovely girlfriend. A future.’

At Christmas, they all assumed Kerry was my girlfriend and I haven’t told them what’s happened since. I’m beginning to accept it was for the best. When I dropped her birthday card off, I still hoped it might be the start of something new. And when Tim confronted me, and mentioned the triathlon, I thought she’d told him everything.

But when I realized she hadn’t, I saw the truth: he is better for her than I could ever be. All I’d ever done is drag her down, make things more complicated.

I hope he gave her the card with the photo of Leo inside, but I have heard nothing from her. Once my son is safely at home with me, I might try one last time. Not because I want to get her back, but to show her I did the right thing, in the end.

‘But I guess you must miss it,’ Luke continues, and when I don’t reply he adds, ‘football?’

I’m about to make some joke when I think about it properly. ‘Yes,’ I find myself saying, ‘I miss it more than almost anything.’

‘But you’ve never tried playing again? Not even at amateur level?’

‘Couldn’t see the point.’

‘What, there’s no point playing unless you’re a pro? Try telling that to the kids at my school.’

‘Or me,’ one of the other guys chips in. ‘I lived for my pub team, even though we hadn’t scored a goal in two years.’

Now they’re all adding their football stories.

‘We should set up our own team,’ Luke says and everyone laughs.

Everyone except Steve, who raises an eyebrow at me.

‘You lot laugh but we could really do it,’ he says, ‘and with Greenie here to coach us, we might even be half decent.’

I’m ready to tell them exactly why it’s a dumb idea, but then I stop. They’ve never been this united. As I listen in, the excitement starts to rub off on me and I’m agreeing to research grounds where we might be able to have a kickabout.

But I’m sure it’ll blow over. These things do.