‘She met him on Tinder,’ I say. ‘She likes to set her location to nice places, to see who she can meet.’

This is absolutely true, generally. It’s just not true this time.

‘I can’t believe the nerve of you,’ Ali tells Daniel, inching towards him. His body stiffens with fear. I feel as if he’s just remembered who Ali is. ‘Didn’t I tell you at the wedding, to stay the hell away from my friend?’

‘Oh, yeah, when you embarrassed me in front of everyone,’ he reminds her.

‘Yes,’ she says, taking full ownership of the situation. ‘Then. And yet here you are.’

‘Ali, do you want to come in for a quick drink while Freddie is at the gym?’ I ask her as casually as I can. I’m certainly no actress.

I would love to watch her lay into them, tear them apart, obliterate them with her acid tongue – if not her talon-like nails – but I don’t want a scene. That’s the one thing I keep reminding myself: that no matter how much I want to scream at them until I lose my voice and slap and swear and punch and kick, I can’t, can I? I’d only regret embarrassing myself, or posting things online for everyone to see, giving them all the details. I always feel so sorry for people when they over-share online, because people just love other people’s drama, don’t they? These things are fascinating when they are happening to other people.

‘I’d love to,’ she says. ‘So long as it doesn’t hold up your shagathon with Freddie.’

‘Oh, he’ll go all night if I let him,’ I tell her as I unlock the door. ‘A quick drink won’t make a difference.’

Once the door is closed behind us, we fall about laughing.

‘It must feel so good, getting one over on him like this,’ Ali says.

‘It does and it doesn’t. It’s great to show him that I’ve moved on, and that I don’t care… but I haven’t moved on, and I do care.’

‘I get it,’ she says, hugging me tightly. ‘Hey, you want to mess with that barman some more? We could get in bed together, order some drinks, see if he brings them?’

‘I am not going to help you titillate the barman,’ I tell her. ‘You don’t even need to.’

‘Not now you’ve tangled me up in your web, saying I’m seeing him.’

‘You’re welcome,’ I tell her. ‘Now you have an excuse to pounce on him.’

‘I wasn’t planning on it before,’ she lies. ‘But now I’m doing you a favour…’

‘You won’t be moaning when he sweeps you off your feet.’

‘Oh, I will,’ she replies.

I smile. I’m so happy she’s here.

‘So, we’re going to the beach with Freddie in the morning?’

‘You want to?’ I reply.

‘Hmm, do I want to hang out with a movie star?’ she ponders out loud as she falls back onto the sofa. ‘Yep.’

‘Okay, then, we’ll do that.’