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Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Prologue
  3. Chapter One
  4. Chapter Two
  5. Chapter Three
  6. Chapter Four
  7. Chapter Five
  8. Chapter Six
  9. Chapter Seven
  10. Chapter Eight
  11. Chapter Nine
  12. Chapter Ten
  13. Chapter Eleven
  14. Chapter Twelve
  15. Chapter Thirteen
  16. Chapter Fourteen
  17. Chapter Fifteen
  18. Chapter Sixteen
  19. Chapter Seventeen
  20. Chapter Eighteen
  21. Chapter Nineteen
  22. Chapter Twenty
  23. Chapter Twenty-One
  24. Chapter Twenty-Two
  25. Chapter Twenty-Three
  26. Chapter Twenty-Four
  27. Chapter Twenty-Five
  28. Chapter Twenty-Six
  29. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  30. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  31. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  32. Chapter Thirty
  33. Chapter Thirty-One
  34. Chapter Thirty-Two
  35. Chapter Thirty-Three
  36. Chapter Thirty-Four
  37. Chapter Thirty-Five
  38. Chapter Thirty-Six
  39. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  40. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  41. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  42. Chapter Forty
  43. Chapter Forty-One
  44. Chapter Forty-Two
  45. Chapter Forty-Three
  46. Chapter Forty-Four
  47. Chapter Forty-Five
  48. Chapter Forty-Six
  49. Chapter Forty-Seven
  50. Chapter Forty-Eight
  51. Chapter Forty-Nine
  52. Chapter Fifty
  53. Chapter Fifty-One
  54. Chapter Fifty-Two
  55. Chapter Fifty-Three
  56. Chapter Fifty-Four
  57. Chapter Fifty-Five
  58. Acknowledgments
  59. P.S. Insights, Interviews & More . . .*
  60. About the Author
  61. About the Book
  62. Read On
  63. Praise for Susan Lewis and Her Books
  64. Also by Susan Lewis
  65. About the Publisher

“And what good do you think they’re going to do?” she demanded, spinning around to face him, eyes swimming in tears, skin blotched with heated emotions. “Whatever that verminous toad has to say it isn’t going to heal her . . .”

“It could help her to understand why it happened and—”

“We know why, Dan. He was paid to do it; he’s already admitted that. He took money to harm people he doesn’t even know. He didn’t give a damn about us. All that mattered to him was his payday. So, unless he tells us who was behind it . . . Has he? Is it in his letters?”

Dan shook his head. “I’m afraid not.”

“So, what the hell is the point of them?”

He dropped his head for a moment, pushing his glasses up his nose as he gathered his words. “I asked him to tell Marcy—and you—about himself,” he explained. “I thought it was important for him to try and put across to you a sense of who he is and what’s made him the person he’s grown into.”

“And why the hell would we care about that?”

“It’s not so much about caring as understanding that he is a person, a victim, if you like, of his own circumstances, just as you are of yours. He hasn’t experienced any of the privileges or benefits that people like you and I take for granted. He’s struggled in more ways than even I know, or probably want to know. In spite of being exploited from a very young age he tried to get an education, to lead a normal life, but living where he does in the kind of environment that shuns traditional learning, authority, all the norms . . .”

“Spare me the sob story. He’s a cliché . . .”

“Come on, you can do better than that.”

Maybe she could, but maybe she didn’t want to. “If you’re trying to make me feel sorry for him,” she snapped, “then it’s not going to happen.”

“That’s not what I’m asking, nor am I trying to make excuses for him. What he did has caused immense harm to you and your family, no one is ever going to deny that, least of all me—or him. My aim here is to try and help you to understand that all the rage and hatred you feel toward him is more damaging to you than it is to him. In your different ways you and your mother are still suffering profoundly; most of it is locked up inside you and that’s making it worse. You only have to look at your mother and see the way she is . . .”

Claudia turned her head abruptly away.