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Back Forgive Me Save as PDF
Chapters (65)
  1. Cover
  2. Prologue
  3. Chapter One
  4. Chapter Two
  5. Chapter Three
  6. Chapter Four
  7. Chapter Five
  8. Chapter Six
  9. Chapter Seven
  10. Chapter Eight
  11. Chapter Nine
  12. Chapter Ten
  13. Chapter Eleven
  14. Chapter Twelve
  15. Chapter Thirteen
  16. Chapter Fourteen
  17. Chapter Fifteen
  18. Chapter Sixteen
  19. Chapter Seventeen
  20. Chapter Eighteen
  21. Chapter Nineteen
  22. Chapter Twenty
  23. Chapter Twenty-One
  24. Chapter Twenty-Two
  25. Chapter Twenty-Three
  26. Chapter Twenty-Four
  27. Chapter Twenty-Five
  28. Chapter Twenty-Six
  29. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  30. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  31. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  32. Chapter Thirty
  33. Chapter Thirty-One
  34. Chapter Thirty-Two
  35. Chapter Thirty-Three
  36. Chapter Thirty-Four
  37. Chapter Thirty-Five
  38. Chapter Thirty-Six
  39. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  40. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  41. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  42. Chapter Forty
  43. Chapter Forty-One
  44. Chapter Forty-Two
  45. Chapter Forty-Three
  46. Chapter Forty-Four
  47. Chapter Forty-Five
  48. Chapter Forty-Six
  49. Chapter Forty-Seven
  50. Chapter Forty-Eight
  51. Chapter Forty-Nine
  52. Chapter Fifty
  53. Chapter Fifty-One
  54. Chapter Fifty-Two
  55. Chapter Fifty-Three
  56. Chapter Fifty-Four
  57. Chapter Fifty-Five
  58. Acknowledgments
  59. P.S. Insights, Interviews & More . . .*
  60. About the Author
  61. About the Book
  62. Read On
  63. Praise for Susan Lewis and Her Books
  64. Also by Susan Lewis
  65. About the Publisher

But then SuperDan turns up three days ago and tells me it’s all on. I’m not sure who’s more chuffed, me or him, but for the first time we high-five (didn’t like to tell him no one really does that anymore) and his happiness shows me that he actually cares. OK, a lot more about you and your family than he does about me, but it still feels good to have someone a little bit onside.

I’m waiting in my cell now for someone to come and get me. You must be on your way here, or maybe you’ve already arrived. I don’t know how you’re feeling, but me, I’m totally brickin’ it. I’ve never felt this nervous about anything in my life. I honestly don’t think it can be this bad waiting for a jury to come back when you’re in the dock, but I’m not going to know about that now. My solicitor’s been told I want to plead guilty on both charges; I’m just waiting to hear about what happens next. Apparently I’ll still have to go to court, but probably only for sentencing.

Happy days!

Anyways, I’m only thinking about that so I don’t have to fret myself over how the next hour is going to pan out, or worry about taking too much of the stink of this place into the room where we’re meeting. I’m not sure where that is, I’ve been told it’s here in the prison, but not any part of it I’ve been before—and there’ll still be guards around to make sure I don’t try anything handy.

One last thing before they come for me: if this doesn’t go well I want you to know again how really sorry I am and that I wish with everything in me that I could undo it, or find a way to make it up to you. I could say something about my ma here, and my need to protect her, but you already know it so I’ll leave it there.

PS: I’m trusting you’re not going to say or do anything to change my mind about things, just can’t see it, so not sure why I wrote that.

Chapter Forty-One

They were in a kind of conference room with a large rectangular table taking up most of the space, whiteboards and a TV screen on the burlap-clad walls, and a long teak sideboard beneath windows that overlooked a well-stocked kitchen garden. They’d been led here by the deputy governor’s assistant, a chatty woman who’d explained that this was the admin block and quite separate from the main building, although they might spot a few inmates working among the vegetable patches outside.