Alan is a successful lawyer who counseled with me about his submissive desires toward women. Alan had submissive desires as far back as he could recall. When he was in his early twenties and had his first apartment, he would be overcome with the desire to be dominated by a woman (usually triggered by film, television or literature). Alan did not understand this desire but once it came upon him, he would seek out FemDom magazines or even mainstream magazines with dominant looking women. Alan would place himself in bondage and fantasize that a woman was whipping him or sexually dominating him. He would stand his mattress against the wall of his bedroom, tie himself up against the mattress (leaving one hand free), and he would gaze upon the pictures of the magazines that he had cut out and taped to his bedroom wall. Alan would then slap his erect penis over and over with his free hand, pretending that it was the woman from the picture who was slapping him.

Kevin is a financial advisor. He is successful, handsome and happily married. He confessed to me that when he was an adolescent, a picture of a sexy woman in a magazine would make him feel submissive. Kevin did not desire to have sex with her but rather he wanted her to dominate him. He remembers taking his brother’s Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue or one of his mother’s beauty magazines and he would flog himself with his belt (in the privacy of his bedroom with the door locked and the stereo turned up high) while he fantasized that it was the beautiful woman in the magazine that was flogging him. Why? Where did this desire originate from? He had loving parents who never abused him. It was as if he was born with this desire.

Phillip is a teacher and he recalls similar experiences in his childhood.

He would sneak his father’s Playboy magazines into his room and pretend that the naked models were dominating him. He even recalls the time he took a carrot out of his parent’s refrigerator and took some Vaseline and penetrated his own rectum with the lubricated carrot as if it were a dildo. He fucked himself pretending that it was the beautiful Playboy model that was dominating him. Phillip was only ten years old at the time.

James had a reoccurring dream when he was only six or seven years old.