Henry visited an attractive and reputable Dominatrix whom he met through her ad in DDI. She had him fill out an in-depth questionnaire to specify exactly what his fetish and submissive desires were. Henry did not know precisely what he wanted but he did know that images of leather-clad women with whips excited him and he wanted to be helpless in the presence of a woman. Henry also had a leather fetish and a boot fetish. Therefore, he marked on his questionnaire that he wanted to experience being whipped by a leather-clad woman, to lick a woman’s boots, to be bound by a woman and to be teased to the edge of an orgasm but denied any sexual release. Henry figured that he would feel less guilty if he did not have an orgasm in the presence of another woman.

Henry got to experience all of this in his first session with a professional Dominatrix. Henry described his first session as being exciting but not completely fulfilling. Henry’s struggle with guilt prevented him from really surrendering himself over to this woman during his session and his resistance prevented the session from being as fulfilling as he had hoped.

The session with the Pro Dom was exciting enough that Henry desired another one a few months later. With each session, Henry became more comfortable being dominated by a woman and before he knew it, he was seeing a Dominatrix about six times a year. At $250 per session, Henry was spending between $2000 and $3000 per year on these live sessions as well as some phone domination sessions and the purchase of some Female Domination magazines and videos. Needless to say, Henry’s guilt increased about his little secret that he kept from his wife. Henry eventually discovered my ad, which offered more than just traditional domination. I also offered counseling.

Henry’s story was a common tale. I had counseled scores of men who had similar stories. Ryan is such a man. Ryan is now a professional musician but when he was a teenager, he had an intense submissive experience while he was watching the 1978 film “Revenge of the Pink Panther”. In this film, there is a scene where the Peter Sellers character investigates a crime that takes him to an oriental brothel. He is mistaken for a cross-dresser so the owner of the establishment thinks she knows what the good detective desires sexually. She summons for the house Dominatrix and the next scene is a humorous scene where the Dominatrix is trying to whip the naive French Detective. The scene lasts for less than a minute but it triggered something within Ryan.

Ryan never heard of a Dominatrix before but seeing this quick image of a leather-clad woman wielding a whip caused him to become excited and overcome with a submissive feeling. Like Henry, this feeling came over Ryan out of left field and consumed his thoughts and forever changed his sexuality.