As Henry nervously fumbled through his confession to me, I could almost predict what he was going to say next. I had heard it all before from dozens of other men. Henry recalled having submissive fantasies since he was a teenager. He didn’t know where they originated from but he recalled that whenever he saw a scene in a movie or television program where a woman was aggressive or dominant with a man, he became extremely sexually aroused. Whenever he saw a woman wearing leather or portraying any kind of dominant image in a magazine or a book, he would become weak as if he were being tied down without any actual ropes. Even just a certain look on a woman’s face in an advertisement in a magazine would cause Henry to be overcome with submissive feelings toward the female gender.

Henry explained that as he discovered pornography, he noticed it was the images or stories of women being the sexual aggressor that excited him.

Stories about older women who seduced and sexually dominated younger men especially aroused him. He also was drawn to pictures of leather wearing and whip wielding women, who collared men and placed them in bondage. Before he knew it, only pornography that dealt with women dominating men excited Henry. He would buy a Penthouse magazine and skim the letters in the front, looking for ones that were about a wife dominating her husband or an older woman dominating a younger man. Then he would fantasize and masturbate with the thought of him being the dominated husband or the dominated younger man.

Eventually he discovered magazines that openly catered to the male fantasy of women dominating men.

Henry did not like viewing pornographic material. He was raised in a conservative, middle class family, he was active in his church, he had loving parents, and he was never sexually or emotionally abused. Henry had a very healthy relationship with his mother and was taught to treat women with respect. Henry was also taught that pornography was morally wrong and should be avoided. However, no matter how hard he tried to suppress his submissive fantasies, they kept coming back on him.

He could not overcome his desire to be sexually dominated by a woman.

Pornography was an outlet where Henry could turn to engage his submissive desires.