Female Domination

An exploration of the male desire for

Loving Female Authority

By

Elise Sutton

Female Domination

An exploration of the male desire for Loving Female Authority

© Copyright 2003, Elise Sutton

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the author.

ISBN 1-4116-0325-7

Cover design by Sardax

© Copyright 2003

Dedications

To my Mother: Although you will never read this dedication, it was you who first taught me the true meaning of Loving Female Authority.

To my Husband: Thank you for teaching me that real masculinity is expressed through genuine submission. Your life is a living testimony that man is exalted only when he is willing to be humbled. You are the 24/7 love of my life.

To Kathy and James: Thank you for your support and diligence. This book would not have been possible without your help.

To all the people who are mentioned in this book: Thank you for being willing to share the private and intimate details of your life so that others may benefit.

To the female readers of this book: Thank you for having the courage to explore this subject. It is my hope that this book will motivate you to dream big dreams in life and it is my hope that you will find romance with a man who will strive with you to make those dreams come true.

To the male readers of this book: It is my hope that this book will speak to you and answer some of the questions you have struggled with. Thank you for not giving up on your desires, even though they may go against what society has taught you. It is my prayer that every man will experience loving female authority at some point in his life.

Disclaimer

This book explores controversial sexual activities. Neither the author of the book nor its publisher assumes any responsibility for the exercise or misuse of the practices described in this book.

The sexual lifestyles discussed in this book are between consenting adults who are experienced and educated about their lifestyle choices. Although the author is open about her sexuality and lifestyle choice, she by no means is encouraging the readers of this book to engage in any activity that is discussed within this book. She encourages those who are interested in these lifestyle choices to become educated so they can take all care and precautions to reduce risk, anticipate problems and when necessary, to avoid risky activities.

The author’s opinions and commentaries are just that, her opinion based on her years of experience with alternative lifestyles. Her advice and observations are not professional advice based on her career field. Likewise, the people quoted within this book are only giving their observations based on personal experience. It is the responsibility of the reader to become educated about the risks involved in these lifestyle choices.

Those who practice D&S make a real and explicit distinction between consenting acts between adults for mutual pleasure and any and all acts of violence against non-consenting partners. Imposing any sexual act on a reluctant partner is immoral and offensive. Imposing it on an unwilling partner is a criminal offense. Additionally, the law varies from state to state so each person needs to know what is legal and what is illegal in their state when it comes to sexual practices and activities.

This purpose of this book is to explore and promote loving female authority between consenting partners.

Preface

The purpose of this book is to examine the Female Domination lifestyle.

What is Female Domination? Why do men desire Female Domination?

How do couples practice Female Domination in today’s society? We will discover that Female Domination is a large tent with many forms, expressions and lifestyles contained therein. I will share the personal and intimate experiences of forty different couples who have incorporated Female Domination into their relationships. Some couples like Female Domination to be soft and sensual, some like it hard and rough, some like it wild and trend setting, some like it romantic, some like it untraditional, some like it primarily in the bedroom, and some like it both inside and outside the bedroom. Regardless of the flavor, most claim to have better marriages and relationships thanks in large part to the Female Domination lifestyle.

We will witness how Female Domination can build the bond of intimacy and trust between couples. We will discover how Female Domination can defuse arguments, relieve stress, transport sex to a higher level than just the physical, empower women in society, and inject excitement into the mundane tasks of life like household chores. We will see how Female Domination can satisfy the inner male child, build up a woman’s self-esteem, add spice to the bedroom, re-ignite romance, and cause a power exchange within the female/male relationship. We will discover how society is evolving toward Female rule, one relationship at a time.

We will also examine the why from a psychological perspective. For if we understand why men have submissive desires toward the female gender, where these desires originate from, and how common these desires are within men, we will see that what some have considered to be perversion or anti-social behavior, is in fact normal and natural. I believe society is changing and a power exchange is occurring and I hope that the readers of this book will better understand that power exchange.

My personal experience with Female Domination began in the early 1980’s while I was attending college. I frequented a pansexual support and educational group that dealt with Dominance and Submission (D&S) within personal relationships. My original purpose for attending a meeting of this D&S group was to do research for a paper on human sexuality. I will never forget how nervous I was and how uneasy I felt when I walked into that room for the first time. There were about thirty people present, of which twenty-five were men. I could feel every eye upon me, looking me over and checking me out. I persevered and by the time the night was over, I was beginning to feel comfortable. Since it was an introduction meeting for first-timers, nothing strange or out of the ordinary occurred. It was basically people of this D&S group explaining who they were and what they were about. My curiosity was peaked that night and I found this subject of D&S to be most fascinating.

There was a social time after the meeting and I mingled with some of the people, asking many questions. What I discovered was that the majority of these first-timers were men who wanted to be in the submissive role to a woman. Basically, they were in search of a woman who would dominate them sexually. Since it was a pan-sexual group, there were some self-proclaimed dominant men but most of the males present at this meeting wanted to be in the submissive role. I found this to be quite interesting. I was a so-called feminist and while I was hearing lectures in college on how women were struggling to gain equality in our society, here was a room full of men that did not want women to be their equals but rather their superiors.

I grew up in a traditional, male-dominated household, therefore I struggled with my upbringing and the patriarchal societal programming that had indoctrinated me since I was a little girl. I have always been a spiritual person, a Christian, who loves God and Jesus. While I am thankful for my religious upbringing in that it made me a God-conscience individual, the Catholic Church and its male dominated hierarchy force-fed me a theology that made me view my gender in an unflattering light. This was a major stumbling block for me as I tried to succeed in a so-called man’s world. Feminism appealed to me but I never did buy into the male hating dogma that so many of my female professors and some of my girlfriends preached. I liked men and I actually hung around more with boys than with girls. This was true in my childhood and this was true in college. I developed a love and a respect for the male gender but I also began to realize the male gender’s many weaknesses. I discovered that women possessed the superior intellect and a much higher moral character.

I kept most of my thoughts and evolving philosophy to myself, trying my best to fit within this male dominated society. I was always an out-going woman but I never considered myself to be dominant. I certainly had never heard of Female Domination or Female Supremacy but this D&S group had opened the door to a whole new world. It was a safe-haven, away from societal expectations, where men could express their true natures and women could experiment with a whole new side of their personality, a side that was frowned upon in society and in religion.

Here, men could be submissive and women could be dominant.

I was invited back by this group and while I convinced myself that I was attending purely for educational and research purposes, the fact was that I had become curious and interested in this alternative lifestyle. The next week I met more of the regulars and while there were an increased number of women, it was apparent that the submissive men were the driving force behind this group. The men far outnumbered the women and that would be the case week in and week out. Needless to say, being a female, I became quite popular in a hurry.

As I socialized and conversed with the members of this D&S group, I met a woman who invited me to a luncheon made up of exclusively dominant women. I accepted her invitation and attend this luncheon.

There I met some of the most fascinating women I had ever encountered.

Most of them were employed in the field of professional Domination.

They had male clients who paid them a healthy sum of money to be sexually dominated. The woman who invited me to this luncheon was a professional Dominatrix and I formed a very close friendship with her. I learned much from her about D&S and Female Domination. I even worked with her for a short time, agreeing to do professional Domination when one of her clients requested a session with two dominant women.

The money was great for part-time work and the education I received about D&S was invaluable.

I continued to research D&S and in particular, Female Domination. I evolved in my own personal growth and I became a self-described Female Supremacist. By my definition, a Female Supremacist is a woman who believes that women are the superior sex over men. She is a woman who has come to believe that society would be better served if it were governed by women instead of men. A Female Supremacist believes that women should be in positions of authority, from government clear down to marriage, where the wife should rule over the husband. A Female Supremacist believes that women and men are not equal but rather different. She believes that they both have strengths and weaknesses, but that the woman has more strengths than the man and that she contains the traits that is best fitted to be in a position of authority.

I majored in Psychology and minored in Sociology in college. I wanted to use my education, so when my friend encouraged me to become a professional Dominatrix like her, I declined. However, I remained an active member in the D&S community and I eventually decided to combine my two loves in life, Female Domination and Psychology. I offered more than just a D&S session, I also offered counseling if a male client wanted to better understand why he desired to be sexually dominated by a woman. I placed an ad in the City paper as well as in a few of the publications where my Dominatrix friend advertised, and before I knew it, I had myself a small but loyal clientele. Over the next decade, I developed a rather large clientele, offering a combination of professional Female Domination, counseling and practical advice.

I start with each person that I counsel from the basis that they are special and a valuable creation made by God. I don't believe that God makes mistakes and thus I don't feel a person is perverted or a mistake of nature. With that as the foundation, I am then able to be non-judgmental.

I believe that God is the judge, not us. I don’t believe we were put here on this Earth to criticize, judge, or condemn other human beings. We are not to judge others unless we want to be judged ourselves. Who am I to say that another person's sexual desires or core nature is wrong? I have my own desires that others may feel are unusual. Each of us has our own unique nature, personality and temperament. With that in mind, I can be open minded and understanding as I listen to others bare their soul to me.

I have my core beliefs and I am a person of Faith. I believe in right and wrong and I believe in morality. I don't think that all behavior is acceptable and I don't believe that society should tolerate or ignore destructive or dangerous behavior in human beings. However, when it comes to the subjects of human sexuality, domination and submission, and male submissive desires, I feel that I am a bit of an expert based on years of study, observation and participation. What I have learned is that there are reasons why men have these desires and a person's core nature expresses itself in the sexual realm through different sexual desires. It is important to understand why people do what they do but it is more important to care for the person who is struggling with life or with themselves. Most people do not need to hear that they are wrong but rather that they are special. That has always been my approach.

I have researched Female Domination and male submission for over twenty years. I have counseled with submissive men and female dominant couples and I have interviewed many couples that practice this lifestyle in varying degrees. I have personally lived this lifestyle and I still actively practice this lifestyle. This book is based on my many years of searching, seeking, asking, learning and living Female Domination.

I realize that the D&S community encompasses many different lifestyles and that Female Domination is only one of the flavors of the D&S community. This book is not about the D&S community in totality but is solely about Female Domination and male submission. There have been a number of excellent books written about D&S and BDSM. This book is different because it separates Female Domination from the other flavors of D&S and strictly focuses on Female Domination and its societal impact; past, present and future. Female Domination is unique because most of our institutions are patriarchal. Society is evolving and the empowerment of women is not isolated from the desire of men wanting to submit to women both sexually and socially. This book will examine the correlation between the two and the current trend in societal evolution.

I must forewarn the readers that this book will talk about some very intense and controversial sexual practices. I will be sharing the lifestyles of real people who are not unlike your family members, the people you work with or the people you socialize with. I want this book to be both educational and entertaining. I will try my best to be descriptive without being too graphic but in some cases, being descriptive will strike some as being graphic. This book will no doubt arouse, titillate, shock and challenge. However, it is my hope that above all it will enlighten and educate.

Introduction

So what is Female Domination? The entire term seems to be a contradiction to our male dominated society. Female Domination (or FemDom as some refer to it) did not originate from dominant women or feminists. It was men who coined the phrase Female Domination to categorize their sexual and social desires to submit themselves to the female gender. So is Female Domination merely a sexual fantasy that some men harbor or is it a reflection of a societal evolution?

A little over twenty years ago, I was first introduced to the concept of Female Domination when I attended a meeting of a pansexual organization that dealt with Dominance and submission (D&S) within personal relationships. What was most telling about this group (that welcomed anyone who desired to be sexually dominant or submissive) was the majority of the members were submissive men in search of a dominant woman. There were self-proclaimed dominant women in attendance but the submissive men outnumbered them at least twenty to one. Since I was present at this group for the purpose of educating myself further in my studies of Human Sexuality, I interviewed some of the dominant women and submissive men in an informal manner. Being a rather outgoing and aggressive female myself, I found myself attracted to this world of Female Domination.

My curiosity in Female Domination has developed into twenty plus years of studying and practicing this alternative lifestyle. I have educated myself about the subjects of Female Domination and male submissive desires. Based on my years of study, observation and participation, I have learned that there are sexual and social reasons why men have submissive desires toward women. I have discovered that a person's core nature expresses itself in the sexual realm through different sexual desires. To the novice, a man that desires to be on the bottom during intercourse is normal but a man who desires to be spanked or whipped by a woman is perverted. However, I have come to understand that both of these fore mentioned desires stem from the same core desire. That desire is to be sexually dominated by a woman. It is expressed differently but it is the same deep-rooted motivation. Not only that, but this deep-rooted nature can evolve and the man that desires to be on the bottom during intercourse today may very well develop a desire to be spanked or whipped by a woman tomorrow.

From studying the practice of Female Domination, I learned about the core natures of both men and women. As a woman who was raised in a so-called male dominant traditional family, it was a revelation to me to discover the natural dominance and supremacy of the female gender over the male gender. This revelation became the key to unlocking and understanding all submissive desires within men. It matters not how these desires are expressed through different fantasies. The root and the core of these are all the same. Namely, the desire of the male gender is to be dominated and ruled by the female gender. Therefore, no expression of this submissive nature surprises me or shocks me. I have heard it all from the males I have interviewed and counseled and I have seen it all through my own participation in the Female Domination lifestyle.

Men desire corporal punishment (being spanked or whipped by a woman), forced feminization (being emasculated by a woman), humiliation, strap-on sex (being the receiver of a woman's rubber phallus), water sports (such as forced enemas or golden showers), and other D&S activities. Men want to worship the female by tending to her physical and sexual needs (body worship) and men want to be made into a domesticated servant to their wives. But the common thread to all these sexual and submissive desires is the longing for loving female authority.

To me, that is the true definition of Female Domination. Female Domination is Loving Female Authority. That is what most men are seeking from the female gender. All of these specific fetishes or desires are the outward expressions of a man's need and hunger for loving female authority.

I have been able to help a number of males to come to terms with their desires and their natural submissive nature. Likewise, my knowledge of 13 female domination and its social and sexual importance helps me to share with women why men have these desires and how exploring these desires with them in a safe and sane environment can develop a strong bond of intimacy between the female and the submissive male. I share with women how Domination and submission and more specifically, Female Domination, can be liberating for the woman. It can cause a power exchange within her marriage and that power exchange can be beneficial for both parties.

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