I look down at my hands. My wedding and engagement rings glint back at me. I’ve lost so much weight they’re slipping off. I think back to the day Sean asked me to marry him. It was a Sunday afternoon and we’d gone for a walk in Battersea Park. He told me he felt tired and needed to sit down so we went into the little English Garden and sat by the pond. It was winter and the water had turned to ice. I was shivering with cold so Sean took his scarf off and wrapped it round my neck. He kissed my nose then told me he had something he wanted to ask me. I watched as he put his hand in his pocket and took out a green velvet box. Inside was a beautiful antique emerald ring. For a few moments time seemed to stand still; the whole park seemed to hold its breath, waiting for my answer. ‘Yes,’ I told him. ‘A thousand times yes.’ I was so happy that day. It felt like all the pain and anguish I’d suffered had led me to that moment; that I could stop punishing myself and just live. I look down at the ring now and feel utterly numb. Grayling asks me if I have any more questions but I’m unable to speak. All I can muster is a feeble shake of the head.

‘I’ll see you out then,’ she says, pushing back her chair and walking to the door.

I get up and follow her out, down the dark corridor, past the posters.

See it. Say it. Sorted.

When we reach the reception area Grayling stops. ‘I really am sorry for everything you’ve been through,’ she says, placing a hand on my arm. ‘And if we could do more to help we would but …’

‘It’s fine. I understand,’ I say brusquely. I really want to get out of here now.

‘Are you going to be all right walking home?’ says Grayling. ‘I can call you a taxi if you like.’

‘It’s okay,’ I say, flinching as a siren squeals past the front door. ‘I don’t have far to go.’

‘Well, if you’re sure.’

‘I am, thank you.’

I turn to go but then Grayling calls my name.

‘Just one more thing,’ she says, squinting into the afternoon sun. ‘Your question about what you were wearing that day, whether you were wearing red. Is there anything I should know?’

‘It’s nothing,’ I say, swallowing down my fear. I need to figure out what it is I’m remembering before I tell anyone. ‘I’m still trying to piece things together, that’s all.’