She smiles a strange half-smile and her eyes grow misty. Her beloved Ben: the boy who could do no wrong.

‘Anyway,’ she says briskly. ‘The cancer scare proved to be a benign cyst but at that point I thought I was dying and I wanted to put my affairs in order. I needed to see my granddaughter.’

‘Barbara visited me as often as she could,’ says Julia. ‘She brought me dolls and books and coloured pens.’

‘I tried my best,’ says Barbara. ‘But then Harry found out what I was doing and put a stop to it. He said I had to leave it well alone. Those were his words. And so, with a heavy heart, I did just that and I’ve never forgiven myself. I just wanted to do the right thing.’

‘Do the right thing?’ I say. ‘You stood back and said nothing when your son got me pregnant. You made me think I’d done something wrong.’

‘Shut up,’ cries Julia, squeezing the handle of the knife tighter and stepping towards me. ‘It wasn’t Barbara’s fault. She’d tried her best. And anyway, she wasn’t my mother, you were. And you knew exactly where I was, you knew the name and address of every damned place I was sent to, you knew that I needed you and you just left me to rot.’

‘What are you talking about, Julia?’ I say, trying to keep up with her bullet-fast accusations. ‘I had no idea where you were. I didn’t even get to see you after the birth. They just took you away.’

‘Don’t lie to me,’ Julia yells, waving the knife in my direction. ‘Don’t fucking lie to me. You knew where I was because I told you repeatedly. You knew and you chose to ignore me, even when I was begging for you to come and rescue me. So when I heard you’d been in an accident I was glad because I wanted you to feel the pain that I had felt. I wanted you to know what it’s like to be scared and alone.’

‘You were there for me,’ I say, gulping down the sick feeling that is rising up through my body. ‘You wanted to be my GP. You helped me. Why would you do all that?’

‘I admit at first I wanted to see you for myself. Get inside your head. But then I realized you didn’t feel bad at all. You had forgotten me. Then I saw how weak you were,’ she says, leaning closer to me. ‘I realized how easy it would be for you to try it again.’

‘What – what do you mean?’