‘No,’ I whisper. ‘I don’t remember anything. Please, tell me what happened.’

‘Well,’ says Grayling, hesitating for a second. ‘It seems you got out of the car for some reason, leaving your daughter in the back seat. The fire officer’s report showed that the handbrake … it was only partially engaged.’

‘You mean I … it was my fault?’ I say. ‘I caused it?’

‘That’s not what I’m saying,’ says Grayling. ‘It appears from the misapplication of the handbrake that it was just an accident. The car rolled and you couldn’t stop it. And judging from the injuries to your hands, it seems you did everything you could to save your little girl.’

I look up at her. We both know what that means. I did everything, but it wasn’t enough.

‘The coroner was satisfied with that,’ she says, nodding her head. ‘Enough to have returned a verdict of accidental death.’

My head is fizzing with facts. Coroner. Accidental death. Handbrake. None of it makes any sense. Why can’t I remember anything?

‘There’s just one thing that’s bothering me,’ she says, her tone changing.

‘Oh,’ I say, my throat tightening.

‘It’s the fact that the car doors were locked,’ she says, fixing me with a cold stare. ‘Is there a reason you would have locked your daughter into the car?’

‘No,’ I reply. ‘I’ve never locked her in, ever. I don’t understand that. Are you sure it was locked?’

‘Yes, the fire officer’s report was definite. Could you have been going into the pub?’

‘No,’ I cry. ‘Why would I go into a pub on my own? I don’t really drink. And there’s no way I would have left Elspeth alone in the car like that.’

‘Could you have been meeting someone?’

‘No,’ I say.

‘But how can you be certain if you have no memory of that night?’

‘I just know,’ I reply, my voice trembling. ‘I don’t socialize much, hardly ever in fact. My whole life revolves around my family; Sean and Elspeth. Look, she –’ I stop, my throat feeling like it’s closing up.

‘Take your time, Maggie.’

‘Elspeth was scared of locked doors,’ I say. ‘When she was about seven Sean took her with him to collect his suit from the dry-cleaner’s. She fell asleep in the back of the car so he locked it and ran in to get his suit. The car was parked right outside and he was only in there a few minutes. When he came out she was banging on the windows, terrified that he’d …’

‘That he’d what?’

‘That he’d abandoned her.’

Grayling nods her head and writes something in her notebook.

‘After that she was scared of being in the car,’ I continue. ‘It took years for her to get over it. So there is no way I would have locked that door.’

‘And Sean?’

‘What about him?’