I run my finger round the letters of her name, remembering the day I chose it. Sean and I were sitting having brunch at a little place on Battersea Rise. I was two weeks shy of the due date, the morning sickness that had dogged me in the early days had dissipated and I felt wonderful, like a newly ripened peach. ‘She’s kicking,’ I said, grabbing Sean’s hand and placing it to my tummy. ‘Can you feel it?’ Sean’s eyes were gleaming with happiness. He drew closer and whispered to the bump: ‘Hey there, missy. What are you up to in there? You ready to come out yet?’ Then he’d looked up at me and said, ‘We should think of a name, now that we know it’s a girl.’ And without thinking, I said, ‘What about Elspeth?’ Sean had repeated the name under his breath then nodded and said, ‘I like it, where did it come from?’ I told him it was the first name that came to mind. And it was true. It was like the name had been buried in my subconscious all these years, waiting for my baby to come along and claim it.

Taking a long sip of wine, I slowly peel the masking tape from the seal. The box falls open and I see the unmistakable floppy shape of Momo, Elspeth’s favourite toy rabbit. I take it out carefully and hold it to my face. It still smells of Elspeth, a mix of talcum powder and sugared almonds. ‘Oh, Momo,’ I whisper.

But as I place the toy on to the sofa, a sick feeling courses through me. This means Momo hadn’t been in the car with us that night. Elspeth always had to have him with her whenever we went out in the car. It all stemmed from the fright she’d got when Sean locked her in the car outside the dry-cleaner’s. For months afterwards she would scream and cry whenever we tried to get her into the car. Then Sean had an idea. He remembered Momo. The little toy had been Elspeth’s comforter when she was a baby. As she got older she had consigned Momo to the toy cupboard with the rest of her baby things but now he was needed again. I’ll never forget the look on her face when Sean came out of the house holding Momo. She was reticent at first but then Sean told her that Momo was her lucky mascot and that if she held on to him the fear would go away. After that we took Momo on every car journey. Elspeth insisted on it. So how the hell did I get her in that car without him?