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Chapters (77)
  1. Landing Page
  2. A TERRIBLE KINDNESS
  3. Dedication
  4. Contents
  5. ABERFAN
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. CAMBRIDGE CHOIR
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. FAMILY BUSINESS
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. 40
  48. 41
  49. 42
  50. 43
  51. 44
  52. 45
  53. 46
  54. 47
  55. 48
  56. 49
  57. MIDNIGHT CHOIR
  58. 50
  59. 51
  60. 52
  61. 53
  62. 54
  63. 55
  64. 56
  65. 57
  66. 58
  67. ABERFAN
  68. 59
  69. 60
  70. 61
  71. 62
  72. 63
  73. 64
  74. 65
  75. Acknowledgements
  76. About the Author
  77. Copyright

‘I can’t force you to come with me, and I can’t force you to forgive me, so I’m going. I love you, and there’ll always be a home for you with me, but I’m not going to write any more letters for you to ignore, or call you on the phone for you to refuse to speak to me. When you’re ready, I’ll be there.’

William waited a minute, then followed her down the stairs.

‘I’ll be in touch about sending you money,’ she said to Robert as she walked out of the front door. Robert stared at the ground, flexing his jaw.

‘Don’t you want a cup of tea?’ William couldn’t help but shout from halfway up the stairs, gripping the banister.

She turned, and for a brief moment, they actually saw each other. Breaking the connection, she shook her head. ‘Not to worry, I’ll get something on the road.’

So they stood on the driveway and watched her get in the car. She didn’t even look at him before she drove away.

He watched her car reduce to the size of a postage stamp, a small but powerful pressure point of pain in his sternum.

38

It has taken him twenty-five minutes to walk from the station to the avenue on which the Finches live. His hair is freshly trimmed and he wears his new winter coat, half price in the Boxing Day sale at Rackhams. Howard, his shopping companion since he was thirteen, thought this one particularly dashing. His fifth Christmas without seeing his mother. He’s ready for the new term. Ready to see Gloria.

The cool air shoots into his lungs like peppermint. The branches of the plane trees lining the street are thick black fingers reaching for the blue sky. His leather shoes hit the pavement with a crisp clap-clop as he lets his suitcase swing loosely. The metal clasps on either side of the handle squeak briefly with each of his steps. His left hand is deep in the silk lining of his pocket, clasped tightly round the key to the Finches’. He’s missed Gloria over Christmas and has decided to be more forthright about his feelings. He takes no notice of the semi-detached Georgian houses, the few traces of dirty snow on the pavement. The avenue is simply a broad funnel of excitement, down which he’s happily tumbling towards her.

At the doorstep, he imagines for a moment that this is his house and that inside, his wife is waiting for him.

‘Hello! I’m back. Anyone in?’ The hallway is warm. It’s not the feel of an empty house.

‘In the kitchen, William. Happy New Year.’