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Chapters (77)
  1. Landing Page
  2. A TERRIBLE KINDNESS
  3. Dedication
  4. Contents
  5. ABERFAN
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. CAMBRIDGE CHOIR
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. FAMILY BUSINESS
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. 40
  48. 41
  49. 42
  50. 43
  51. 44
  52. 45
  53. 46
  54. 47
  55. 48
  56. 49
  57. MIDNIGHT CHOIR
  58. 50
  59. 51
  60. 52
  61. 53
  62. 54
  63. 55
  64. 56
  65. 57
  66. 58
  67. ABERFAN
  68. 59
  69. 60
  70. 61
  71. 62
  72. 63
  73. 64
  74. 65
  75. Acknowledgements
  76. About the Author
  77. Copyright

‘The wedding. There’ll be hardly anyone there.’ She’s about to cry again. William’s arm lifts to rest across her shoulders, but he lowers it. ‘Ray said his family are Catholic and would only disapprove, Mum’s too ashamed to invite her family, so it’ll just be my sister’s lot and Dad’s brother and his family – who I can’t stand.’

She looks at him for the first time. ‘Oh, William! This isn’t the sort of wedding I thought I was going to have!’

‘It’s not the sort you deserve,’ he mutters.

‘And you won’t be best man!’ She frowns. ‘It’d make a bad day bearable to have you there, being kind and calm.’ It melts him to hear her say that. ‘Too good for us, are you, now I’m pregnant?’

‘No. No!’ He’s appalled that’s what she thinks. ‘That’s not why.’

‘Why then?’

Is she daring him? How can he? He’s not just sitting next to Gloria, but her and Ray’s unborn child.

‘Of course I’ll be best man,’ he says softly, ‘I’ll be the kindest, calmest best man to set foot in the Stepney registry office.’

She leans her head, heavy, on his shoulder. ‘Thanks, William.’ He doesn’t dare move until she sits back up.

Later in his room, he remembers the nights he spent listening to his mother’s sobbing after his father died. He feels leaden with the same sadness and impotence.

The sun is burning away the glisten of last night’s rain on the pavement, and a soft layer of mist surrounds Ray and William as they walk to college, for most of the way in silence.

‘I’ve told her I’ll be best man,’ William says eventually over a fierce chirruping in the swaying hedge. Ray’s shoes graze the pavement as he stops suddenly.

‘Thank God for that. Pity you couldn’t have said that a week ago and saved Gloria all that upset.’

‘She said none of your family are coming.’ William walks on.

‘Shotgun weddings aren’t their style.’

‘But eventually they’ll want to see their grandchild, won’t they?’

They’ve reached the college’s grey edifice. Ray looks at his watch then leans against the wall. William does the same. ‘Their grandchild, is the fruit of our sin. Don’t worry, I’m not depriving our child of anything.’

‘That’s tough.’

‘They’re the least of my worries. I’ve just got to get married, pass my exams, and be a father. That’s enough for now.’

Following Ray up the steps, William thinks, not for the first time, if he was going to spend the rest of his life with Gloria, and her luscious body was the home for his baby, he’d happily run over hot coals to college every morning and still have a smile on his face.

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