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Back A Terrible Kindness
Chapters (77)
  1. Landing Page
  2. A TERRIBLE KINDNESS
  3. Dedication
  4. Contents
  5. ABERFAN
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. CAMBRIDGE CHOIR
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. FAMILY BUSINESS
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. 40
  48. 41
  49. 42
  50. 43
  51. 44
  52. 45
  53. 46
  54. 47
  55. 48
  56. 49
  57. MIDNIGHT CHOIR
  58. 50
  59. 51
  60. 52
  61. 53
  62. 54
  63. 55
  64. 56
  65. 57
  66. 58
  67. ABERFAN
  68. 59
  69. 60
  70. 61
  71. 62
  72. 63
  73. 64
  74. 65
  75. Acknowledgements
  76. About the Author
  77. Copyright

He sits, until the click-clack of Betty’s rapid footsteps has faded. He takes off his shoes, puts them by the front door and then climbs the stairs. He’s sure Gloria overheard him talking to Betty, so she might be waiting for him, but there’s a stillness to the house that makes him think she’s fallen back to sleep. If so, he won’t wake her. He’ll lie down beside her, next to the living flesh and bloodness of her miracle body, and when she opens her eyes, he’ll make her another cup of tea and sit down on the bed with her. He’ll ask her forgiveness, he’ll make sure she knows how much he loves her, and then he’ll ask.

Because the thought of it, the wonder of it, is hurtling through his veins, making him want to laugh, to dance, to sing.

‘Gloria,’ he’ll say, and he’ll be smiling, ‘when are we going to meet our baby?’

Acknowledgements

Fairy Godmother: a female character in some fairy stories who has magical powers and brings good fortune to the hero or heroine.

I have two: Susan Armstrong, my ferociously effective and consistently kind, calm agent. Signing with her changed my life overnight. The other is Louisa Joyner at Faber, the editor every writer would love to have; whip-smart, intuitive and passionate. Thanks also to the wider team at C&W: Matilda Ayris, Kate Burton, Jake Smith-Bosanquet, Alexander Cochran and Katie Greenstreet, and at Faber: Pete Adlington, Hannah Marshall, Libby Marshall, Josephine Salverda and Josh Smith. Without exception, they have been enthusiastic and brilliant at their jobs. To Claire Gatzen, surely the most eagle-eyed of copy-editors.

To my writing teachers, starting with my English teacher at John Willmott Comprehensive, Lynne Jung, who told me I could be a writer. To Sally Cline, the late W. G. Sebald, Andrew Motion, Paul Magrs, Michèle Roberts and the class of 2001 at UEA.

To those who were gracious and helpful when they didn’t need to be: Rachel Calder, Catherine Clarke, Anna Whitelock, Mary Nathan, Max Porter, Martin Wroe, Miranda Doyle, Jill Dawson and Isobel Abulhoul. To Kate Ahl and Andrew Hewitt, my intelligent, insightful first readers. To Gillian Stern, gifted editor and encourager. To Aki Schilz at TLC, Julia Forster, and the Bridport Prize.