BooksBarbecue
Back A Terrible Kindness Save as PDF
Chapters (77)
  1. Landing Page
  2. A TERRIBLE KINDNESS
  3. Dedication
  4. Contents
  5. ABERFAN
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. CAMBRIDGE CHOIR
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. FAMILY BUSINESS
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. 40
  48. 41
  49. 42
  50. 43
  51. 44
  52. 45
  53. 46
  54. 47
  55. 48
  56. 49
  57. MIDNIGHT CHOIR
  58. 50
  59. 51
  60. 52
  61. 53
  62. 54
  63. 55
  64. 56
  65. 57
  66. 58
  67. ABERFAN
  68. 59
  69. 60
  70. 61
  71. 62
  72. 63
  73. 64
  74. 65
  75. Acknowledgements
  76. About the Author
  77. Copyright

When Harry returns from his tea break, the room is momentarily filled with the familiar thunder of a departing lorry. Jimmy, Betty and William are focused on the work and don’t notice Harry casually turn the radio back on. So when the simple plainchant of the tenors can be heard – Amplius lava me ab iniquitate mea: et a peccato meo munda me; ‘Wash me thoroughly from my wickedness: and cleanse me from my sin’ – Betty doesn’t notice the change in William. Neither does Jimmy, massaging formaldehyde through a wrist. And even though they are working in such close proximity, no one notices the sponge drop to the floor as William grips the edge of the table. But Betty does look up in time to see him put both hands over his ears, eyes tight shut. He takes a step back from the table. His head hits the wall, his knees crumple, and he slides down until he is squatting on the floor.

10

‘Apologise once more, William,’ Betty says, kneeling before him, ‘and I’ll hit you over the head with that radio.’

William feels his spine against the cold wall, the floor bearing into his bony backside. He clasps his shins, his body a tight, clutched package, while Harry and Jimmy look down at him. He notices that his shoes are filthy.

Betty sits next to William, legs outstretched, prises one hand from his leg and holds it in her lap.

‘To be honest,’ she says, ‘I feel the same when the Beatles come on. I can’t stand them.’ She turns her head to look at him, play in her eyes. ‘I’m going to do this next time my husband starts dancing around like an idiot to “Yellow Submarine”.’

Harry and Jimmy chuckle. Harry bends to make eye contact with William. ‘Sorry, mate, just turned it back on. Didn’t realise.’

‘You weren’t to know,’ William says, getting up, letting his hand slide from Betty’s, grateful, embarrassed. ‘I’m OK now.’ He lowers his gaze again, doesn’t want to look or be looked at. ‘It’s just that music.’

▪ ▪ ▪

Uncle Robert is on the driveway before William has turned off the engine. It’s after 10 p.m. and he wonders if he can summon the energy to get out of the car. He leans into Robert’s embrace, feeling the pat on his back; tenderness disguised as vigour that has characterised his care of William over the last five years. The smell of his aftershave, the neat tie and woolly jumper bring tears to his eyes.

‘Hungry?’ He takes William’s elbow. ‘There’s a shepherd’s pie with your name on it.’

‘I’m starving,’ William says as they walk into the house. He takes off the shoes that tomorrow he will throw in the bin and leaves them by the door.

Howard is in the kitchen, oven gloves on, lifting out the casserole dish.