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Back A Terrible Kindness
Chapters (77)
  1. Landing Page
  2. A TERRIBLE KINDNESS
  3. Dedication
  4. Contents
  5. ABERFAN
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. CAMBRIDGE CHOIR
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. FAMILY BUSINESS
  38. 31
  39. 32
  40. 33
  41. 34
  42. 35
  43. 36
  44. 37
  45. 38
  46. 39
  47. 40
  48. 41
  49. 42
  50. 43
  51. 44
  52. 45
  53. 46
  54. 47
  55. 48
  56. 49
  57. MIDNIGHT CHOIR
  58. 50
  59. 51
  60. 52
  61. 53
  62. 54
  63. 55
  64. 56
  65. 57
  66. 58
  67. ABERFAN
  68. 59
  69. 60
  70. 61
  71. 62
  72. 63
  73. 64
  74. 65
  75. Acknowledgements
  76. About the Author
  77. Copyright

‘Take this outside,’ Jimmy says. ‘Hold it up and ask the parents whose child it belongs to.’

‘I can’t!’ he says.

Jimmy is shoving from behind. ‘Yes, you can!’

He’s struggling to turn and run back inside. Jimmy pushes him again and he stumbles out into the crowd of mothers. They’re mauling him, trying to get the arm. His chest heaves in and out; a terrible screaming starts. Strong hands are clasped round both his arms.

‘William! Wake up. You’re dreaming.’

He’s sitting up in bed, breathing heavily with the familiar blend of distress and relief. Martin’s next to him in T-shirt and underpants. He wonders briefly where he is and why Gloria isn’t there. He tries to quieten the panting, relax his tense arms, open his fists.

‘I didn’t know if I should touch you or not.’ Martin looks shaken.

William flops back onto his pillow. ‘Was I yelling?’

‘I’ll say.’ Martin smiles weakly. ‘I’ve kind of been waiting for it to happen, but you still scared the life out of me.’

‘You’ve been waiting for it to happen?’

Martin picks up the blanket that has fallen off the end of the bed and starts folding it. ‘Gloria told me once about the screaming, that’s all.’

Martin sits back on the bed in his underwear, hair tousled, T-shirt rucked up his back, and it suddenly feels like boarding school. William laughs suddenly. ‘I’m not easy, am I?’

Martin smiles. ‘You know I’ve always preferred interesting.’

William’s eyes blur and he doesn’t fight it. ‘I’ve made such a mess of everything.’

‘For the gentlest, most kind-hearted person I know, you are extraordinarily good at making a pig’s ear of things.’

A warm tear trickles into his ear. ‘You’re a good friend, Martin.’

‘I can see the music bringing you back to yourself. You shut it out as if it was the thing that hurt you, when all along, it’s been the thing that can save you.’ He puts a hand firmly on William’s leg. ‘Listen to it, sing it, teach it, breathe it, in and out, every day. You’ll get there.’

‘Mum’s getting married,’ he blurts out, pointing to his mantelpiece. ‘She wants me to go.’

Martin goes over and peers at the invitation. ‘Wow.’ He straightens and turns back to William. ‘That’s big.’ He sits back on the bed. ‘Will you?’

William shrugs. ‘I’m so bloody confused.’

‘Where are you going?’ William asks as Martin stands up. He doesn’t want to be on his own yet.

‘It’s three in the morning,’ Martin says, walking out, ‘where do you think I’m going?’ His head appears back round the door. ‘To make us cocoa, of course.’

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