I’m not proud to admit that I spent way too much time zooming in on the photo she posted because you were in the background. You look good, Kai. Is that weird to say? You’ve always looked good; it was just crazy seeing you in a recent photo. Your IG being private makes it really hard to cyber-stalk you. Sorry, that was too much. And besides, I don’t deserve to see how you’re doing. Hopefully, you’ve moved on and have found someone who can give you what you need.

I love you. That will never change. Be well.

Love, Olivia

December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas, Kai.

I got you a gift this year. Silly, I know, but I couldn’t resist.

You’ve told me that Po Po has called you Wolf for as long as you can remember. I’ve always wondered how she knew so early on how perfect that name would be for you.

Everyone loves you. Your demeanor naturally calms people down, yet you’re a bit of a loner, clinging only to those you deem special. I was always honored to be one of those people. Someone you’d protect with everything you had and love so deeply it was impossible not to feel.

When I saw that picture of you a few months ago, I noticed you were wearing my mother’s cross. I remember the day I gave it to you like it was yesterday. You took my pain and wore it around your neck so I wouldn’t have to. You were always doing that, but it wasn’t fair to you.

You shouldn’t have to wear my pain. You should wear something that represents you; the intelligent, kind, playful, devoted man you are. When I saw this, I knew I had to get it for you. I hope one day you’ll see it.

P.S. I found the picture in the same store. Po Po always called me Tulip. I don’t know why and I don’t think I want to know. Keeps the magic alive, you know? But I wonder if maybe this picture was made for us.

Love, Olivia

I drop the letters on my lap and look down beside me. Tucked slightly under the bed lies a nondescript brown box. When I pop it open, I find a gold chain. At the end of it, there is a small amber pendant with a 3D howling wolf in it. It’s perfectly polished as if it’s brand new.

Taped to the inside of the box is a beautiful drawing of a gray wolf standing amongst a field of pink and purple tulips. The photo is laminated, so it hasn’t lost an ounce of its vibrancy.

The fingers on my right hand trace a delicate path across the face of the pendant, taking in the fine details, while my left hand caresses the cross I still wear around my neck.